Campus quotes

I have about 15 minutes before I have to be at work, so I thought I'd take that time to drink my rooibos tea and share some quotes collected from this semester. 

Student: Well, you DO know what the saying on campus is about guys and girls, right? THe girls say, "The odds are good (3:1 ratio) but the goods are ODD." and the guys say, "The girls here are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the ones available are either handicapped or way out there." '

Professor: I expect you to be in class every session unless you are nearly dead or in a car accident.

Professor: I need you to be engaged in class. Not just blood flowing through your veins, breathing, etc. NO! Drink a red bull, coffee, do jumping jacks; guys, hit each other... be engaged in class!!

Professor: If you have any schedual conflicts with other classes or work and this choir, let me know. And of course I'll press pretty hard for you to lean towards... reschedualing.. for OUR event...

Student: It was snowing outside, and we were like, 'oooh man... it'd be SO nice to have a boyfriend right now, and then HE could do all this dirty work!" But then I said, "NO! We are INDEPENDANT WOMEN!! ... We're not HAPPY about that, BUT we must live into that and maintain our reputation!!!" 

Professor tripping over someone's laptop cable in class: Sorry, I just.. dislogged... someone's .... technical situation. 

Professor: Did you hear the one about the pastor who was dreaming that he was preaching... and then he woke up and found out that he was?

Professor: Argumentation is having a slight edge that answers that little creature sitting on your shoulder saying, "So what" to what you are writing. 

Professor: You al know that I like grammar and punctuation. DO NOT WRITE THE WAY YOU TALK!! There's a little thing on your computers called 'Spell Check' too..." 

Professor: No one's gonna laugh at you when you interact appropriately in class. If they do laugh at you, we'll burn them at the stake..." 

Professor of Christian Education: So, did you get engaged over Christmas break?

Student: No sir, I'm a missions major. We hold out longer than the rest when it comes to MRS degrees. 

Professor of Missions: Don't say that!! You are giving me a bad name!! 

Student: (before the storm hit) Oh look! Kentucky's trying to snow! We've got our 'frozen cloud spit' for the week!

Student: (after storm hit) I thought we moved south for a reason!

Student from the Deep South: THIS is NOT the SOUTH! If it's not a LAW that you serve Iced Sweet Tea in all your resturaunts, it is NOT the south, ya'll!!