Getting into the groove... I think

Movie: Ironwill. Will is a teenager getting ready to compete in a cross-country dog sled race, and the local Native Americans are helping him learn how to survive not only the wild, but the wild men he will be interacting with. "How do I know who to trust?" he finally asks. "Trust the dogs. Trust yourself." the old chief tells him.
Except I don't have any dogs, I just have a FISH!!!! At least dogs are fluffy and look at you with big understanding eyes. Fish just glub at you! lol
No its cool its just a little overwhelming, because almost every time I've met a new person in this church for longer than five seconds, they are pulling me into a hallway giving me some 'helpful information' i.e. pushing their agenda. Aaaaaand it kinda sucks because they seem so NICE at first and then its like, aHA, so THATS your angle!!!
But the youth pastor did pull me aside and said, "there's a psalm, I think its Psalm 2, where it says 'the nations cry out.' The context is that a new king has just taken power, which means there is a power vacuum. A new king means new policies, he's a new personalities, no one knows what to expect, everyone is vying for power trying to push their own agenda. I just want to encourage you that David survived, so will you. I forgot how frustrating it was moving into a new ministry till I saw your face last night and then it all came back to me. Don't worry, you'll learn the names and faces and politics of this church. Don't be discouraged.As much as everyone wants to tell you what THEY think ought to happen, God didn't call them to this position He called YOU and this is YOUR ministry right now. If they wanted it that bad they could of applied for it but they didn't. So just remember that. God called you here. You've got muscle so don't worry to do what you need to do."
And I had a meeting with one of the elders of my previous church as a last 'hurrah' before moving membership. He asked lots of questions and best way to describe the church I'm in now is  that its a country church with inner-city dynamics. Brother Andy, the elder, is in his 60's, has a Ph.D. in Josephus or some ancient historian like that, and told me today he has worked with drug addicts and homeless people for several years. 'Listen to people, hear what they have to say, and learn to use phrases that buy you time so you can consider what they are really saying underneath the words they think you want to hear. Trust your gut. Find outside sources you can trust to bounce ideas off of and for objective opinions."So I think today was God saying, 'breathe Rachel its okay."
I've never been part of any church for more than a couple of years at a time. The longest was probably the First Church of the Nazarene in New Mexico, and it was kind of chopped up as we went to another church for a while as well. But all that time, Baptists were kind of the special cousin in Christendom that we were just so glad we weren't part of. I've heard of scary tiny southern baptist churches, and now I am not only part of one but a leader in one! And its exciting but somewhat terrifying.
At first I was like, "I'm gonna grow this ministry and it will be awesome!" Which I still hope for, but I guess I'm tempered down a little to, 'I want this to work for several years. And I want this ministry to grow. But if all I do is make an eternal difference in the lives of the ten kids that are in the ministry now, that's more than enough for me right there.'
In other news, worked in what will be my office but is currently the 'children's ministry resource center,' a.k.a the dump spot for anyone who gets a good deal on crayons. Or the place where all the cardboard backs to pads of paper end up (instead of the trash can!!!) just in case they might be needed for a craft. The secretary and the pastor want to leave all that stuff in there after it becomes my office, and the youth pastor said "Oooooh no. They tried to do that to my office and then its not an office its your desk and phone in the supply closet. MOVE IT. Do not budge on that!"  Which quite frankly there are enough unused classrooms that there is plenty of space for the two bookshelves to go besides my office. Speaking of which,
I HAVE AN OFFICE!!!
I have absolutely no office furniture to put in there as of yet. But I have decided that I am going to have a cool office. I don't know what exactly that means yet, but... anyway :-)
Going to meet the WMU ladies tomorrow morning and work a banquet back on campus for some pocket change ;-)
Enough for now. Going to bed :-)
~Princess Ouch~

musings on church and gardening

I really didn't understand any of this four years ago. Now I get delicious, sadistic, unsanctified delight out of pieces like this.
To be honest, I am not sure what to do about church when I graduate. I have the church I'm a member of which is great but there's not really a place for me to serve, and honestly I don't fit the profile for their stereotypical member. And there's the deaf church, which I love, but I'll confess I love me a good praise and worship song once a week. And then there is searching for other churches. Dad wants me to look into the Wesleyan churches. 1. I don't know that there are any in the area (I am in Baptist land after all) and 2. there's a Calvary Chapel in the area I want to try. Not saying I'll join it not saying I won't. God bless the Wesleyan's and all, but while I am unsure its something I want to figure out on my own. I have so many voices telling me what I should and ought and should think about. I'm tired of direction and suggestions and 'feedback' and 'accountability' (code for we're not going to tell you in a Matthew 18 way, we're going to wait till we're P.O'd at you and then give you a long sermon for how horrible you are and how our way is the best).  I'd like just some good old fashioned love and support. Honest truth. Is that me being unteachable and rebellious? Well paint it how you want its how I feel and I'm being honest. Which apparently people don't like anymore.

Sorry I've had a massive allergy attack the last four days and its developing into a sinus infection. God bless antibiotics and steroids. However my sudden dependence upon drugs is concerning, 'cause I didn't grow up popping pills. Granted the stuff I have been taking is needed. And medicine is wonderful when you need it. However I still feel like my body should be sufficient to ward of allergies etc. without drugs. So its an adjustment. Which is what the last three years has been apparently. So all that to say I'm tired and more cynical than usual.
However today is going to be a good day. I am going to class then going to my new job at the Crisis Pregnancy Center inputting donation information, and we had a huge amount of donations over the weekend. And I'll be working with older women which I love doing. Then I have my other job in the dishroom. Not my most favorite occupation ever (in fact I'm sick of it) but my bosses are awesome there and the pay is alright.

And I don't have pictures but a lot of the veggies I planted have sprouted! The green beans are HUGE. The cucumber hasn't sprouted yet so I don't know if its just taking its time or dead. The herbs still look bushy and happy, a few sweet peas have sprouted and the lettuce looks happy. I love growing things. I'm not all that successful yet at it. But for me there is something so wonderfully refreshing and lovely and peaceful in a garden. When I'm doing work there and getting my hands dirty and smelling the green I feel a sense of purpose and peace like I do when I'm being obedient to God.
- the good feelings are rather quickly taken away by the allergy attack but I'm figuring out which dr's to go to and which steroids are helpful so you know. ;-)
(Yes that was me being flippant and sarcastic. Its how I cope)

Ok I need to get out of my jammies and ready for this awesome day.
~Princess Ouch~
p.s. this new blogger dashboard was confusing at first but I took the tutorial and I'm kind of loving it now!!!

experiences and musings

I can't decide if I love that warm-climate cultural aspect where one must argue for a solid five minutes with one's friend about who is going to out-hospitality-ize the other. But either way, I experience it pretty much every week now, which has been glorious. Kristi and I had to take turns bickering with our dear Turkish friend who flat out insisted that we were destitute, struggling, poor college students who could not afford to have her over to our homes and provide the culturally-mandated refreshments and tea that must be present when entertaining. Therefore it only was right that she treat US to all the goodies at HER house.
Our come back was that we were her cultural informants and Americans who can darn well afford a few cookies and a spot of tea once every couple of weeks when she concedes to coming onto our turf.
However, it IS a little tricky to get to Kristi's place. I agreed to meet our friends on campus - where they knew how to get - and guide them to the house. It is a few blocks away down a rather curvaceous route in which Kentuckian drivers are often encountered and I didn't want to risk throwing my friends into flashbacks of their host country's insane driving laws (or lack thereof) distracting them from the route and getting them thoroughly lost.

So they called and I ran across campus, saw them waving out their window in the parking lot, let myself into the back seat and collapsed into a heap panting heavily. They chirped their hello's and then lapsed into their native tongue. Eventually they admitted that they were commenting on their discovery as to why I am so thin: they clucked in admonition when they pointed out that I apparently run everywhere.

(room mate, friend, and me playing dress up with my scarf)

I tried to balance small talk with guiding them through traffic and we finally parked. Sema got out of the passenger side of the car and spread her arms out in preparation for a big bear hug.
"Nice girl, I want to say hello to you. I have missed you, nice girl. Come give me a hug!"
I laughed and gave her a big hug and Fatmah came up behind me clucking her indignation that I hadn't given her the traditional peck on both cheeks accompanied by a hug first.
Sema has only been Stateside for about six months and so is far more timid in speaking English, but when she does makes it very very clear that she feels at home with me and Kristi and Colleen, and likes us a lot! Its encouraging and humbling and flattering and convicting, all rolled into one. These dear ladies aren't going to stay here, but will return to Turkey when their husbands complete the schooling they initially came here for. While I value them as friends in their own right, I am constantly reminded that I am one of the few witnesses to Christ they have ever met, and they will take these memories of me and my testimony back with them. However, so far it seems to be a generally good experience, which is good. :-)

(room mate sharing pictures of family on Facebook via an Iphone
I love how internationals usually own
better technology than I do.)

Today's sermon in Church was all about the difference between a 'Carnal Christian' and a person who is claiming to be a Christian but isn't. The point of the sermon wasn't to instruct Church Members on how to run around judging fellow members in the Church, but how to determine if I myself truly am a believer who is walking my talk. I have full assurance of my salvation, so the Sermon was generally encouraging, although I jotted down in my notes some areas of improvement. A funny quote from the sermon had to do with the Stainless Steel cookware someone had given my pastor and his family. He was jokingly complaining about how he now owns bizarre and strange cleaning products that had never graced his cupboards before, and how he was learning how to cook on lower heat temperatures. The reason being that the steel grabbed onto whatever substance he was trying to heat, sucked it into the grooves of the metal, and apparently then screamed "MINE!"
"You are supposed to grab onto Spiritual Truth like a stainless steel pan grabs onto a burnt egg! But what happens is that some Christians are like Teflon pans, and let the egg just slide right off. Yes, non-stick is BAD in this analogy!"
After laughing with the rest of the congregation, I thought about the different ways I've been trying to allow Spiritual Truth sink into the details of my life. Meeting with these Turkish Muslims regularly has really been a good sounding board. They ask hard questions that cause me to ask myself, my professors and my Lord questions that I had never thought to do before. I am constantly reminded of my inadequacies as a Christian and forced to turn to the Holy Spirit for help and guidance.
One of the application questions at the end of the sermon was 'What victories have you won lately? No victory is perfect, but what Spiritual Victories have you just WON, albeit imperfectly, in your life?'
I won't take the time to list all of them as this is getting long enough, but it was encouraging to have to mentally go through the list of areas the Holy Spirit is working in my life.
A big part of the sermon, though, was TIME.
A dear friend of mine who has been really struggling with being a Christian for the last year called the other night and we had a really good conversation. I hung up a little frustrated, though, at how much TIME it is taking him to grow into the strong man of God I know he could be.
The sermon reminded me that while sometimes God does work in quick, visible, miraculous ways, sometimes we are called to throw seed out into a field. Whether that field has good soil and just needs a good rain shower to make those seeds start to germinate... or instead get eaten up by birds when the cracked dry land does nothing with them, is in God's control. I'm called to continue casting seed whenever the opportunity arises.

I am so blessed to be given the opportunity to learn how to sow seed with my brothers and sisters in the Lord... despite all our various obnoxious imperfections and irritating quirks. ;-)

(3 missions majors and 2 counseling majors)

Again, I'm sort of thinking and musing and rambling out loud and trying to get my thoughts in order. However, my mom claims that her blog is there strictly for self-therapeutic reasons. I'm gonna lay hold of that excuse, and at the same time hope you've been encouraged and convicted and entertained by mine. :-)

~Princess Ouch~

Religious Reformer

"The Aim, the Reproach, and the Triumph of the Religious Reformer.

1. The aim of the Religious Reformer. A Reformer is one who seeks to remove abuses which have crept into an organization or community, or one who boldly enters a field where error has held undisputed sway, and fearlessly wields amid giant powers of opposition, the weapons of truth. He aims to entirely revolutionize the minds of the community in which he labors, on that particular subject where he believes reform to be needed. A compromise between truth and error is not what he seeks, and will not satisfy him. 'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth' is his motto. Old systems of error, however sacred on account of their antiquity, he boldly attacks. Though massive darkness has long brooded over the people, he aims to dissipate the gloom, and shed upon them brilliant rays of light. His work is a mighty one; the ond for which he labors is noble and sublime. He holds a position in advance of the community in which he resides, and the age in which he lives - hence he possesses traits of character that are peculiar, which fit him to toil and suffer for the accomplishment of his designs. 

A spirit of noble daring is his. He fears not to grapple with error, though sanctioned by age, and supported by popular favor. He scruples not, if need be, to stand alone, as the champion of truth. With undaunted intrepidy he braves the "World's dread laugh" or meets it's frown. With a  spirit of indomitable perseverance, he steadily adheres to his purpose and determinedly pursues his single object. Every obstacle thrown across his path affords a new incentive to increased activity. Every difficulty he meets, only gives new strength and inspires fresh courage. He is not to be turned aside. Having put his hand to the plough, he looks not back. 

Self sacrificing effort and benevolent labor are his. His time, talents, property, are all laid upon the alter of truth. He toils, not to achieve a name, to amass wealth, or to advance a sect. He labors for the good of others, while often he recieves only their hatred, reproach and persecution. If there is one picture on earth that reminds us, more than any other, of the meek and lowly savior, it is the spirit and conduct of the reformer, patiently suffering at the hands of those whose moral elevation he labors to effect. And here is the test by which the true and false reformer may be tried and discovered. Infidelity boasts of seeking a reform. But when did Infidelity ever inspire it's advocates with a spirit of self-denial for the good of others? Where are it's sacrifices made to benefit and elevate the human race? Did infidelity ever suffer to benefit man? Does it today go forth, as an angel of mercy, to labor, to suffer, and to bless? No, no. But the true reformer has a high purpose, a benevolent aim; he occupies holy ground, and he can suffer, unjustly suffer, to benefit his fellow-men."

~John Quincy Adams~ 

(not the president, the Baptist pastor) 

Paradigm towards matrimony

A friend sent me this, and I thought it was a very interesting perspective / approach. I thought it kind of funny in light of some conversations I've been having recently with several different people. Hope you enjoy. :-)

Finding a wife the Romanian wayThe Convention of Hungarian Baptist Churches comprises approximately 250 churches, mainly in the northern region of Transylvania. These churches experienced revival during the 1960s and consequently they are strong spiritually if not materially, with some village churches having 200-300 members.

Pal Borzasi is a young man in his mid-20s, who is in his final year at the Hungarian Baptist Seminary in Cluj-Napoca. Pal spent a year in England in 1996-97 studying at the European Missionary Fellowship's School of Evangelism at Welwyn.

Pal got married in the summer to Anna Kiraly. What is unusual about that? When it comes to Christian courtship and marriage, there is a great difference between Romania and Britain.

The marriage prayer list
Marriage in the Baptist churches in Romania is NOT the culmination of a series of broken relationships. This unbiblical approach is unknown to Romanian Christians. In Romania, young men and women do not normally date or form romantic attachments of any kind before marriage. How then do they find suitable marriage partners?

When a Christian young man wants to get married in Romania, he does not tell anyone of his intention, but sets himself to pray for the Lord's guidance to the right young woman. Often, as in the case of Pal, he may have a list of women whom he would consider possible candidates for marriage. This then forms his prayer list which will be used over the next months. He will trust the Lord to direct him by overruling providence to the woman who will be his choice.

Anna Kiraly
Throughout this initial phase, the young woman knows nothing about this process; in fact, for young Christian women to make known their romantic interest in any young man is forbidden and seen as very worldly. If she does have a liking for any man, then she must leave it with the Lord and wait upon his will. 'But how will you ever find a husband if you are not actively looking for one?' someone asked Anna Kiraly last Christmas. Her reply was: 'I am not looking for a husband. The Lord knows who is best for me and he will bring that husband to me if I wait for his timing and his choice.' To Western ears, sadly, this sounds very strange but perhaps it shows how far from the Lord's ways we have strayed.

When the man is sure that the woman in mind is the wife of his and the Lord's choosing, then - and only then - will he privately approach her and make known to her his thinking. Following this, she has up to three months to pray about the proposed marriage. During this time, the matter is kept secret from all others so that should she refuse him, no disgrace is brought to them or the name of the Lord's people. If she refuses his offer, then no one need ever know about it, and the whole process begins again. So how did Paul and Anna get together?

Last Christmas, Anna, who is studying at EMF, came to stay with us as a family for the holidays. Pal, who was over here for the Carey Ministers' Conference in early January, visited us at Ramsey with his ulterior motive, of which she was blissfully unaware, of proposing marriage to Anna. On December 29, Pal made known his feelings to Anna, who was so shocked she could not eat properly for the next few days but spent the time praying and thinking about whether to accept Pal's proposal. She later confided that in her heart of hearts, Pal had been the one young man that she had wanted as a husband but had considered him to be beyond her expectations. He, on the other hand, confessed that he loved Anna so much that he could not imagine what he would do if she refused him. On New Year's Eve, she accepted his invitation to become his wife. After watching the television pictures of the millennium fireworks on the River Thames, they made the joyous announcement to myself and my wife.

The lessons?
What can we as Christians learn about courtship and marriage from the Hungarian Baptists of Romania?

First, dating as we know it in this country, especially among teenagers, is unbiblical and runs the great risk of encouraging emotional attachments which are too close and very painful to break, and which can spoil fellowship between God's people. It is often the case that men and women have left their churches for another because it is too painful to stay because of the presence of a former sweetheart who is perhaps married to someone else. Socialising and sharing fellowship in groups is a much better way for young men and women to get to know each other, without getting too close, until they are ready to consider marriage. Surely it is not the will of the Lord, who 'hates divorce' (Malachi 2.16), to see his children hurting one another in this deepest of all human relationships, the love of one man for one woman? Note that in Bible times, engagement was seen by the Jews as tantamount to marriage (Matt. 1.18-19).

Secondly, for a Christian man to say to a woman: 'I love you', it must be understood as a proposal of marriage from him. He is saying in effect: 'I love you before the Lord and I want you to be my wife.' A profession of love must always be a proposal of marriage and any man therefore who is not in a position to get married or who is not willing to marry the subject of his affections should restrain himself. Christian young men and women, if you are too young to get married, you are too young to have romantic partners!

Thirdly, as believers, we trust the Lord to overrule in all our circumstances for our good and for his glory. Therefore we should trust him to overrule in this most important of matters, namely, whom we are to marry. If we pray and look to him, then he will direct us to the right person at the right time. So until we are ready to get married, we should certainly be aware of potential wives and husbands but wait upon the Lord's timing and choice. We should not make and break relationships, trampling upon each other's hearts until we find the right person; this is not the way of Christ for his people: 'I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up love nor awaken love until it pleases.' (Song of Songs 2.7).

Mike Daly, the writer of this article, is the pastor of Great Whyte Baptist Church, Ramsey, Cambridgeshire. Reprinted with permission from Evangelical Magazine of Wales, August/ September 2000.

P.S. Pal and Anna were married in Romania on July 15.

© Evangelicals Now - December 2000