Getting into the groove... I think

Movie: Ironwill. Will is a teenager getting ready to compete in a cross-country dog sled race, and the local Native Americans are helping him learn how to survive not only the wild, but the wild men he will be interacting with. "How do I know who to trust?" he finally asks. "Trust the dogs. Trust yourself." the old chief tells him.
Except I don't have any dogs, I just have a FISH!!!! At least dogs are fluffy and look at you with big understanding eyes. Fish just glub at you! lol
No its cool its just a little overwhelming, because almost every time I've met a new person in this church for longer than five seconds, they are pulling me into a hallway giving me some 'helpful information' i.e. pushing their agenda. Aaaaaand it kinda sucks because they seem so NICE at first and then its like, aHA, so THATS your angle!!!
But the youth pastor did pull me aside and said, "there's a psalm, I think its Psalm 2, where it says 'the nations cry out.' The context is that a new king has just taken power, which means there is a power vacuum. A new king means new policies, he's a new personalities, no one knows what to expect, everyone is vying for power trying to push their own agenda. I just want to encourage you that David survived, so will you. I forgot how frustrating it was moving into a new ministry till I saw your face last night and then it all came back to me. Don't worry, you'll learn the names and faces and politics of this church. Don't be discouraged.As much as everyone wants to tell you what THEY think ought to happen, God didn't call them to this position He called YOU and this is YOUR ministry right now. If they wanted it that bad they could of applied for it but they didn't. So just remember that. God called you here. You've got muscle so don't worry to do what you need to do."
And I had a meeting with one of the elders of my previous church as a last 'hurrah' before moving membership. He asked lots of questions and best way to describe the church I'm in now is  that its a country church with inner-city dynamics. Brother Andy, the elder, is in his 60's, has a Ph.D. in Josephus or some ancient historian like that, and told me today he has worked with drug addicts and homeless people for several years. 'Listen to people, hear what they have to say, and learn to use phrases that buy you time so you can consider what they are really saying underneath the words they think you want to hear. Trust your gut. Find outside sources you can trust to bounce ideas off of and for objective opinions."So I think today was God saying, 'breathe Rachel its okay."
I've never been part of any church for more than a couple of years at a time. The longest was probably the First Church of the Nazarene in New Mexico, and it was kind of chopped up as we went to another church for a while as well. But all that time, Baptists were kind of the special cousin in Christendom that we were just so glad we weren't part of. I've heard of scary tiny southern baptist churches, and now I am not only part of one but a leader in one! And its exciting but somewhat terrifying.
At first I was like, "I'm gonna grow this ministry and it will be awesome!" Which I still hope for, but I guess I'm tempered down a little to, 'I want this to work for several years. And I want this ministry to grow. But if all I do is make an eternal difference in the lives of the ten kids that are in the ministry now, that's more than enough for me right there.'
In other news, worked in what will be my office but is currently the 'children's ministry resource center,' a.k.a the dump spot for anyone who gets a good deal on crayons. Or the place where all the cardboard backs to pads of paper end up (instead of the trash can!!!) just in case they might be needed for a craft. The secretary and the pastor want to leave all that stuff in there after it becomes my office, and the youth pastor said "Oooooh no. They tried to do that to my office and then its not an office its your desk and phone in the supply closet. MOVE IT. Do not budge on that!"  Which quite frankly there are enough unused classrooms that there is plenty of space for the two bookshelves to go besides my office. Speaking of which,
I HAVE AN OFFICE!!!
I have absolutely no office furniture to put in there as of yet. But I have decided that I am going to have a cool office. I don't know what exactly that means yet, but... anyway :-)
Going to meet the WMU ladies tomorrow morning and work a banquet back on campus for some pocket change ;-)
Enough for now. Going to bed :-)
~Princess Ouch~

paths and light

It was that horrible part of the month when the moon didn't rise for a few days. Because it was winter, the stars were veiled in the night sky. The sidewalk was an example of the depravity of mankind and a testimony to Communist quality (or lack thereof) and the cobblestones peeking out underneath the gaping holes in the road's blacktop might have been set down by the Romans in BC days. The road and the sidewalk were separated by a 10-foot deep ditch filled with snow sludge, cow manure, dirt washed off from the nearby fields, and last summer's grass.
And pre-European Union Transylvania did not believe in street lights!!!!
My host sister had been walking this life-threatening trail since she could walk and remembered when many of the snags and cracks had formed. She walked with confidence, never breaking her stride, matter-of-factly blazing the trail in front of us, plunging into the inky blackness that opened before us as we left the church.
I, however, was not nearly so confident.
First of all, the crags, snags, and jags of the way in which we were traveling spelled death to my American feet, unaccustomed as they were to walking everywhere we went, let alone on that kind of byway.
Second, I will admit this: I just don't like dark. I mean, I like it when I am trying to fall asleep. Thats it. Dim, sure. Night time with night lights where teeny specks of lumination glow and bring warm fuzzy feelings, sure. Pitch black? Forget it.

So I slowed down. In fact, I barely creeped forward. My host brother walking behind me almost crashed into me.
"NA!" He exclaimed in surprise. Our fearless leader turned around in surprise, but didn't see a reason for the interjection, so resumed her pace. I was too proud to ask her to slow down, because then I'd have to admit my fear of the dark, and the sidewalk, and I wasn't about to do that. (I've had a few years of sanctification since this took place ;-D)
Hungarians are an observant bunch. As I was picking my way, trying to speed up but not trip, suddenly a blinding light illuminated my path. It seriously was really really bright at first. I turned with surprise to see what it was.
My host brother had turned on his cell phone, which gave off a very very dim light, and was holding it over my shoulder so that I could see where I was going.
The thing is, cell phones 5 years back did not give off the brightest light.
However, my eyes were starting to adjust to the dark dark darkness of that Transylvanian winter night. So even a little light was almost overwhelming.
I was sooo grateful for that light. I could see where I was going!!!!

However, I realized I couldn't see that far ahead of me. In fact, just barely ahead of where I wanted to plant my feet next as I picked up my stride. However, it didn't matter, as I knew my guide knew where we were going, and I had a light held by someone I trusted who was making sure I didn't trip. Showing me what to do just then.

Now, I'm utilizing poetic license here to slightly dramatize the situation, as it illustrates a dilemma I've been struggling with for the last few months.
Gosh darn it, I knew where I was supposed to go and who I was gonna minister to, and how, and somewhat when.
However, the chain of events starting almost exactly a year ago have completely incinerated all such plans.
Its slightly irritating.

Today I sang with the college choir at the Seminary chapel. Before we started I noticed a couple I have seen at my church. The husband is deaf and the wife is hearing. I haven't had a chance to talk with them yet, but took the opportunity when we took a five minute break right before the chapel started to run say hi.
I haven't practiced my Signing in over a year.
But both were thrilled to meet a fellow 'Signer'
The husband watched us while we talked and signed at the same time so he could follow our conversation and the wife asked what I was studying. I told her missions.
"Have you thought about Deaf Missions?" (a new focus the International Mission Board has been emphasizing recently, as there is a huge need for Deaf Ministries overseas)
"Yeah I've thought about it. I'm a little overwhelmed right now with all the different options I have though."
"Well, how much longer do you have at school?"
"After this semester a year and a half." (suppressed squawk of shock, thrill, pride, and terror at that statement)
She laughed and her signing became a full-bodied expression.
"Honey you have TIME! God will show you at the right moment what to do and not before."
We laughed.

At the beginning of the semester I was griping to a guy friend my dilemma of not knowing the specifics of what God was doing in my life, why such intense refinement, why did my dreams and plans have to be shattered.
I love this friend because he is arguably brilliant yet very unassuming about it. He's one of those throw-back hippies who expect people to act smart and logically and don't have the time of day for those who don't. It can be irritating of course but also very helpful.
"You know, I really struggled with that too. Why did God send me to the Mission Field and have me fall in love with it right before my health completely broke? I can't live far from American medicine; I'll die without it now. God knew that. He also knew I would fall in love with South American when He sent me. It drove me nuts for a while. God could heal me. He doesn't. Why? And God kept bringing me the verse in Psalm 119:105 "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." That frustrated me because I was like, 'God! I AM reading Your word! I don't get it!' And then I thought about what kind of lights they used back then. Really small hand held oil lamps that only lit up the path directly in front of you. And I realized, when God gives you direction He only gives you enough for what is directly in front of you."
In Exodus 16, Israel complains because they don't have food. So in verse 4 the Lord tells Moses that He is going to rain Manna down from Heaven. (Manna is a Hebrew word that has been transliterated because saying "Manna" sounds better than saying "What is it" which is what Manna means. Manna = what is it. See verse 14-15)
"...and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in my law or not. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather daily." (Exodus 16:4-5)
It has always struck me that God only allowed the Israelites to collect the day's portion of food. Only on the Sabbath - the day they were to rest and reflect on God's goodness - could they gather enough for two days.
I find myself wanting enough for today and tomorrow. However God also said that He was going to test the Israelite's faith by limiting them to one day. They, unfortunately rather predictably, failed the test and gathered enough for two days, frustrating Moses and witnessing the Lord making their food moldy, unclean, and just plain gross.
Its not a nasty test, its just an example to me of my lack of faith, which is just as appalling as that mess of worms and mold the Manna turned into.
Proverbs 4:18 says "But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day."
Dawn doesn't come all at once. It starts as a very small tiny light on the horizon. Barely clouding the stars. Then it grows slowly, easing back the blanket of stars, chasing them to the opposite horizon as the various morning colors slowly overtake the sky. First the velvety black blue of the outer space the stars peek out from, then a lighter blue and bright purples, and then the warm orange and reds that announce the sun is about to come up.
But it starts slowly. Its mistakeable for something else. But then, agonizingly slow it seems at first, or unnoticeably, suddenly things are not shadows and dark shapes anymore, but merely dim, and you can see whats in front of you, and then you see them clearly.

"For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge

and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;

He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths

of justice and watching over the ways of His saints. Then you will

understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path;

for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be

pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding

will guard you..."

Proverbs 2:6-11

To just wait for His wisdom to come and illuminate and guide in His timing. I'm sure at first I'll be blinded by it like I was by the cell phone in Romania. "WHAT THE MESS KIND OF PLAN IS THAT?" I'm sure I'll yell in flabergastation when "The Plan" is finally revealed. "THAT'S what You've been preparing me for?!?! Well for goodness' sakes, why didn't You just SAY that in the first place?" And then the realization will hit me, as my eyes adjust to the new illumination, that if He had shown me that earlier, I would have been completely blinded, not just dazzled.

So anyway I've just been mulling over these things pretty much all semester. So I thought I'd get it out of my system and send it into cyberspace. :-) I hope it encourages you; but it is late, and I've been praparing for midterms and class presentations and a spur-of-the-moment-mission-of-mercy-trip some AMAZING buddies from school have thrown together to help my family in rebuilding their house (which is STILL undergoing reconstruction and refurbishing from the house fire that happened almost a YEAR ago... how time flies and at the same time limps by... it seems like yesterday and also another lifetime ago...)

All that to say, I'm exhausted, and I fear it may show in my writing. :-)

In Christ,

~Princess Ouch~

High Context Cultures

I have two very dear friends, who we'll call "Pamela" and "Sally." Both are from high-context, hot, shame-based cultures that are similar but still unique in their own ways. Sally is quite a bit older than Pamela, and see's herself as the local friendly matrona looking out for our well-being and offering gems of wisdom when she deems them necessary. Both Pamela and I love her to pieces, but have upon occasion pulled the other aside and asked the other to serve as a 'sounding board' as to how seriously we should take our dear elder.
As an American, I am from a low-context hot culture.
For those of you not studying anthropology, allow me to explain briefly before I continue my story:
High Context Culture: Usually a culture that is very very old, for example Asian or Arab cultures. They have been around for so long that things are defined to ridiculous details. (If one does not bow appropriately or offer the correct title when addressing people of various rank, insult ensues). These cultures are still very friendly but more challenging for people from Low Context Cultures to understand. The reason being:
Low Context Culture: Usually a rather newer culture, such as American or Australian. There are still cultural distinctives that dictate when insult or compliments will be interpreted by certain interactions, but much more loosely defined. In other words, far more laid back. More polite to address elders by "Mrs" or "Mr" but not that big of a deal if it's "Mrs" "Ma'am" "Hey Wazzup!"
Hot Climate Culture: Focuses on the good of the group, or extended family. Emphasizes hospitality; friendly and outgoing. Most of my experience with hot climate cultures is that they talk a LOT. Think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
Cold Climate Culture: More individually focused, or if group-oriented the group is the family, usually immediate family. Often hospitality is an art or matter of honor, but not very personal. Keeps people at arms length until you get to know them very very very well (like, ten or twenty years well). Most of my experience with cold-climate cultures is that they are, as a group, more quiet and introverted people.
Shame Based Culture: "You have done this and therefore shamed our family's honor." An individuals actions do not effect simply the individual, but the group. Bad feelings come when the ramifications towards the group are considered. The goal is the good of the group, saving the group's honor.
Guilt Based Culture: Individual focused. "I ought not to do this because it will effect me in these ways." The goal is the individual's honor, the good of the individual.

O.k. so there is your anthropology lesson for the day. Now for some background to my story:
A lot of my learning at school has been focused around this saying:
"Learn the culture
to use the culture
to reach the culture."
Good lesson, but it has it's limits. Don't get me wrong, the top complaints I've heard against American missionaries is that they
~Don't make an effort to learn the culture and become culturally appropriate to contextualize in a functional, effective way
~Are selfish
~Are too extravagant in their lifestyles (Which stems from not acculturating and being selfish in my opinion)
I place very very high importance on being culturally relevant and appropriate. I love learning about different cultures, and as I've mentioned before have sensed something pushing/tugging/nudging me towards the more challenging cultures. HOWEVER:
Two things I've also realized through going through a period where I wanted to be so culturally appropriate that I dissolved into the culture and was no longer American was:

~All cultures are corrupted by Adam and Eve's fall in the Garden. There is no best or better culture. All cultures have nuances and traits that are detrimental and even at times evil. As Christians we cannot be blind to that fact. I don't mean be the missionary accused of ruining cultures for the sake of the Gospel. I mean be that missionary who helps sanctify a culture for Christ to be a better witness to the other cultures.

~God made each of us individuals in our home culture for a reason. To forsake that or give that up is, according to my conviction, ungodly. God wants to use our character traits in other cultures to show them things they would not have realized otherwise. People outside the situation can often see things that people in the situation are completely blind to. Thank God for that.

Okay so anyway today all these lessons kind of came to a head when I was given an opportunity to act on them:

Pamela bumped into me in the hallway, grabbed my hand and pulled me into a secluded alcove and asked me emphatically to pray for her. Of course I said I would, but asked what on earth was wrong.
Sally and Pamela had, once again, had a run-in. Something that, in my opinion, wasn't a big deal, but to Pamela was a very big deal as it slighted her integrity and honor in the eyes of another of her superiors. She was afraid her character would be questioned by another individual, and Sally had painted the situation to the superior in a way that put the whole weight of the matter on Pamela. There was no apparent reason for it. However, a little bit ago Sally had confessed to me that she was very frustrated and a little angry at Pamela for not respecting an admonition Sally had given her. It was an admonition I agreed with, but in Sally's mind it was a sin issue and in my mind it was a situational issue that would go away with time. I wasn't happy about the present situation but was fairly confident it was occurring for valid reasons.
It seemed as though the frustration and miscommunication was causing a snowball effect, making it miserable for Pamela to interact with Sally and apparently frustrating for Sally to interact with Pamela. I didn't tell all this to Pamela, because Sally had told me in confidence, but I knew that things were going south.
These two women were dear sisters of mine and each other, and all three of us loved each other.
"Pamela, things are getting rapidly worse between the two of you. I think you need to go sit down and talk with Sally about this."
"No! I cannot confront an elder! Because of culture, you know. Besides, I am a little bit afraid of Sally. She is so strong! But you know, there are others who are cutting contact with her because of this."
"Exactly, and you don't want that to happen between you two. You love Sally and you know that she loves you, and you don't want to loose her friendship over this."
"yes, that is true."
"Come on, let's pray now." I said. Pamela felt a little better after I put my arms around her and prayed, but I felt emboldened to speak some more, although as I did it I was sure roots of mountains were crumbling and the threat of being struck by lightning might be increasing.
"Look, I know that I am an outsider of your culture, and I don't understand everything. I don't want to encourage you to be culturally inappropriate or American or anything. BUT you know that all cultures are effected by sin, and all cultures have aspects that are not godly, even my own. The Bible says that when you have a problem with your brother or sister, you must go to him or her and resolve it. There is not peace between you and Sally. I will pray for an opportunity for you to talk about this in a culturally appropriate way. But I want to encourage you to look for that opportunity."
"But she is so strong, Rachel. So stubborn."
"Yes I know, and when you speak with her you must not be intimidated by this but use it. You say 'Sally, I am sad because I feel there is no peace between us. I don't want to be pushed away because of this. I want there to be happiness and peace, not frustration and anger. What can I do to help that happen?' Affirm her, tell her you love her. Show her that you want her input and wisdom in your life, because you do. We both know how much she has helped each of us and how she is wise in so many ways. And this way you are not confronting her or telling her what to do or instructing her or in anyway questioning her eldership in your life. You are asking her to help you bring peace between the two of you. See what happens. But you cannot let this continue out of control, because it is burdening you."
Pamela nodded and thanked me and scurried off as we both had things we needed to do.

Now I don't know that what I said was perfect, and I don't know that Pamela should follow my advice to a T. I think she should - and will - pray about what I've said and obey God's leading, not my own.
However, I am encouraged by this situation because for a long time I felt that to work in a high-context, shame based culture would be impossible and incredibly painful for me. I thought that my frank-to-a-fault self and brutal honesty would paint me in such a bad light that I couldn't and wouldn't be effective at all to those cultures should I ever go there. I was of the opinion that Asian cultures specifically would judge and not accept me.
Of course I am very well aware that all these things are still likely and applicable anywhere (shoot, that happens here in the States for crying out loud!). And I do recognize the need for me to curb my frankness and soften my directness more often than not.
But I also was encouraged that, when used biblically and powered by prayer, these traits are encouraging and helpful in these cultures I feared. They can in fact be used by God as tools to bring about edifying change that is much-needed, if used with humility.

So all that to say, still being stretched.

Sanctification. How deplorable!!!!

Yet at the same time, how necessary and encouraging.

~Princess Ouch~

Praise and worship songs

This is a song I used to sing when I was on the Praise and Worship team at Church. Its one of my favorites. I need to learn how to play it on the piano!! Wish we had had enough people in the P&W team to do the choir piece that is shown in this clip :-)

This second song is one that my friend just sent me. It is really beautiful, and hopefully an encouragement to you as much as it was to me.






I really like this song by Joy Williams. The lyrics have been very encouraging through many times the last few years:

Are you listening
TO anything that I say
'Cause I been praying
How many prayers can I pray
I'm still waiting
Maybe You'll show up today

I know You're here, but I can't feel You
And if You're speaking, I can't hear You
How much londer will this last

Chorus:So okay Answer me with silence
It's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Why do I question
Your intentions for me
When Your affection
Is a proven legacy

Oh Father, Father
Turn my fears into peace
I know Your love will never leave
I know You want what's best for me

You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet

Oh, it's okay
If You answer me with silence
And it's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Interesting

Without giving too much details, yesterday was wierd. I'm still not entirely sure about what I think of all of it, but it included Ramona and I exhorting a brother in Christ to not give up during a hard season in his life, lots of mean gossip about 'that Gypsy" Ramona and her crazy friends, (I guess encouraging a Christian brother isn't cool with the neighbor) and trying to get that sorted with Ramona's mom who didn't have an issue but is trying to protect Ramona and Corina from gossip, and watching Ramona try and teach her classmate English.
I wish I had taken pictures of that whole "English lesson" or taken a video of it, because it was HYSTERICAL. But I was too busy laughing and translating to think of it at the time.
The boy, Dani, was a tall Gypsy who looked like a Hungarian Gypsy by his build. He hadn't studied the lesson worth beans, and kept trying to engage our friend who we will call the British Pest - Ramona's and my friend from the international church - and I so as to distract Ramona from realizing how much he hadn't studied.
The BP (British Pest) was about rolling on the floor as Dani was pulling all the Gypsy tricks he could when it came to begging for mercy and understanding and excuses for not studying, and Ramona wasn't buying any of it. The two of them made quite a pair as Dani pleaded and explained and rubbed his temples and said how much his head hurt, and Ramona snapped at him about how it was such a pity that such a smart boy could be so lazy. At one point she even smacked him upside the head playfully and yelled at him for wasting such a good brain on T.V.
"Ooooh... you don't understaaaaaand. It's so haaaard. My poor heeeead!" he whined in Romanian as only a Gypsy can do. The funny thing was that Ramona is ethnically a Gypsy, and has a fiery temper that reveals itself and then hides unexpectedly like other Gypsies, but the education and wisdom gained from being raised in a godly family. So she was fully equipped to make him see the ridiculousness of what he was saying.
"You said you wanted to learn English so learn English! You are wasting my time and yours by not studying."
"But-"
"No buts!! If (the british pest) can come all this way so far from his home and study medicine and survive in Romania than you can at least turn of the telivision and study how to spell F-A-M-I-L-Y in English!!!" At which point she slammed the notebook down in his direction, intentinally barely missing whacking his fingers.
I and the BP laughed and he asked nervously if Ramona was planning on ever being a teacher.
"No offense, but I think I'll skip that class, if you do teach." he grinned. I nodded in hearty agreement. The girl is frighteningly intelligent, discerning, and kind. But also is a hard task master!

I was actually able to translate quite a bit of what was said for the BP, which was again exciting for me to realize how much God was blessing me with giving me what I had studied when I needed it. But again after I was done, my head was aching, and there were a few points later on when I would say a word or sentance in English, Romanian AND Hungarian all at once. Joy.
The day ended with me getting online and finding a friend who was going through a really rough time. Something he said made me think of psalms, so I quoted it for him, and ended up giving him about half of psalm 73. My friend asked for a moment while he copied the whole psalm down and asked for some more.
I was so amazed. This friend has really struggled with his Christian walk in the past, and if I had quoted psalms when I first met him or even a year ago, he would have shrugged it off nicely. But here he was, asking for more and finding beauty and comfort from David's Psalms!
It was really convicting for me, because I haven't been in as many rough spots as this friend has been. I've had my mountain top experiances and my valleys, like everyone else, but I think he's gone through more. A lot of times I don't know what to say because I know that God's grace is sufficient, but who am I to say this who has never truly suffered?
I remember when my friend was chatting me praying, "Oh God, what do I say?"
And then a psalm just came to me. I hadn't ever really put a lot of effort into memorizing it. But it came, and it was what was needed.
I have always believed in the sufficiency of Scripture - theoretically. But often when it came to the point of using Scripture, I was at a loss for what to say. I often let others do the expository explanation or encouragement while I prayed or nodded. But this was the first time when God showed me what to say and how to say it and where in the Bible to go. It was SOOOOO COOL!

Then the other amazing thing was that I was still feeling upset about the gossip from earlier in the day, and I told him a little about it. He turned around and encouraged ME with examples of where Jesus was gossiped about in the Bible for hanging out with prostitutes and tax collectors.
I was floored. And greatly encouraged.
So it was a wierd day but good.
Today Ramona and I are going to a small city called Salonta to visit a Romanian Baptist Gypsy church there. I've been to the Hungarian Baptist Gypsy church but not the Romanian one yet. So this should be interesting. :-)

God bless,

~PrincessOuch~

Happy Easter! Or day after Easter...

Kristos Inviat! Or Hristos Anesti, or Happy Easter, or Jezus El. :-)
Well I guess it's a day late, but oh well.
The Lord really blessed me this Easter. I thought I was going to just go to Church and then go back to the dorm room and have nasty left-over dorm food (which my Mom strictly forbade me to do). But here's what happened instead:
Saturday I was kind of bummed because I'm officially an adult, and adults don't get Easter baskets. Silly, I know, but I like gifts. Well anyway, my parents sent me a really nice Easter package on Saturday, and on Sunday I woke up and a friend had left a chocolate easter bunny and some plastic eggs filled with candy, and a small card just outside my door.
My friend Angie took me to her Church, which is a African American/Black Southern Baptist Church with a rock-out Pastor who the members affectionately call "Doc".
Then I was invited to some friends house for lunch, so a girl from my hall and I went. Miss Pat's house is beeeautiful, and she is an on-fire Christian who loves missions, loves people and most importantly loves the Lord.
After I was STUFFED with delicious southern-cooking (complete with a desert that was almost bigger than the main course) and we talked and shared stories for a while. Miss Pat gave both my friend and I Easter bags filled with candy and veeeery cool little gifts like small jewlery and magnets from Korea.
Then we went back to the dorm room. I had to clean my room 'cause it was reeeeeally messy. As I was cleaning my desk, I found a newsletter from my friend who is the director of the organization that funds the orphanage I volunteered at in Romania. (whew. That was a mouthful!) They are having to cut back on funds due to the economy, and there are a lot of kids in Romania being abandoned because their families can't afford to care for them anymore. Romania is going through a recession as well. The Lord started moving on my heart a lot. I read that each child costs $50 a month to sponser (go to www.rmromania.org for more information) and that you could give a one time gift.
"Lord, I'm supposed to go on a mission trip I don't have the funding for yet AND save money for college next semester. Now is REALLY not the time to be tugging on my heart strings!"
But the Holy Spirit doesn't really listen to our human reasoning, and kept nudging me. So with a lot of prayer and sighing, I pulled out my checkbook.
'Howabout $25. $25 is enough for half a month, and someone else can do the rest. Besides, this probably won't make a difference. I can't support a child regularly, so what will this one-time gift do?"
And yet, the numbers sort of formed them selves. Big 5 and big 0 on the blank check. I signed it and decided to put it aside and pray about it more. Then I found myself filling out the response form. Then I was addressing the envalope and putting the check in it. Suddenly I was sealing the envalope and putting it in my pile of stuff to be mailed!
And a very large wave of relief and peace washed over me.
"Okay FINE. Have it YOUR way!" I breathed in submission, although perhaps not complete humility and contriteness.
Well, I ate dinner with a friend and we watched "Stargate" (not quite your traditional Easter spirit entertainment, but whatever) and then my parents called to wish me Happy Easter.
I didn't tell them anything about my struggle earlier in the day but I did mention to my Mom that my church back home hadn't gotten back to me yet about the financial support that had or had not come in yet.
"Oh, they told me this morning." she said.
Now the thing is, the other day I was praying that the Lord would have there be $500 waiting for me when the Church called me back, otherwise I didn't know where the money would come from, how I would afford to go, and I would have to seriously reconsider my plans for the summer. I need $1,000 to go (I know my support letter said $1,500 to $1,700 but by God's grace the price drastically dropped) and $750 is for a plane ticket.
"You have either $660 or $680 waiting for you here." my mom continued.
Not $500!! Over $600!! Almost $700!!!
So I am going to go ahead and buy the tickets. :-) I was so jazzed. I did a little victory dance and whooped and yelled in my dorm room and my poor mom was like, "WHAT is your PROBLEM, calm down!!" I mean she was excited too, but wasn't quite sure why I was doing THAT exhuberant of a victory dance. :-)

So that was the best Easter present of all. :-) So the plan is, tentatively, for me to fly into Budapest, go to Debrecen to get over jet-lag and meet some Baptist Missionaries I could do an intership with after I graduate, then take the bus to Oradea, see the orphanage director who is in desperate need of encouragement, after a day or two take the train to the Romanian missionaries I know and spend 3 1/2 weeks with them learning and encouraging and being encouraged and helping to minister to the Gypsies.

Anyhoo. That was my Easter. How was yours? :-)

~Princess Ouch~

Missions quotes

"To quote that noted football philosopher Vince Lombardi, 'When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.' But that begs the question. How do you get tough? Where do endurance and staying power come from, especially in the Spiritual realm, which calls for a special kind of toughness. We live in a difficult world that is not friendly to the life of a disciple. The Lord was well aware of this, and one of His great concerns was to prepare His followers for life in this hostile world. His people can be resilient and Spiritually tough. However, that resilience is not the product of determination, but of prayer."
~Gary Inrig~

"(Most people's prayers should be)cut off on both ends and set on fire in the middle."
~D.L. Moody~

"Martyrs are holy men of God who fought or stood for truth, even unto death, so that the Word of God may be made known and falsehood and fictions be overcome. Such a sacrifice is offered to God alone, thus the martyr is recieved in heavenly honor. This means that God has rewarded the faith of the martyr with so much grace that death, which seems to be the enemy of life, becomes in reality an ally that helps man enter into life."
~St. Augustine of Hippo~



"Shall we beat a retreat, and turn back from our high calling in Christ Jesus; or dare we advance at God's command, in the face of the impossible?.... Let us remind ourselves that the Great Commission was never qualified by clauses calling for advance only if funds were plentiful and (there is) no hardship or self-denial involved. On the contrary, we are told to expect tribulation and even persecution, but with it Victory in Christ."
~John Stam, Missionary to China and martyred with his wife in 1934~


"It was Christmas Eve and night was descending on the jungle. There was no way I could get back home. Back in Pennsylvania, my folks would have returned from Church and Mother would be getting the turkey ready. Outside the snow would be faling.... In Yarinachcha, six hours away, Nancy and the boys would be sitting at home alone. They knew by now, because I had been able to radio back that I was stuck in the jungle. I would not be with them for Christmas.
"Oh God," I moaned, "I'm in the wrong place."
.... That night, under my mosquito net I had a visitation from God - something like those shepherds must have had on the hills of Bethlehem. There were no angels, and no bright light. But as I lay there on my hammock, desperately homesick, I felt I heard God say:
"My son, this is what Christmas is all about. Jesus left Heaven and on Christmas morning He woke up in the 'wrong place' - a stable in Bethlehem. Christmas means leaving home, not going home. My only begotten Son did not come home for Christmas - He left His home to be with you.""
~Bernie May, Pilot for Wycliff Bible Translators~

"To conclude, therefore, let no man out of weak conceit of sobriety, or in ill applied moderation, think or maintain, that a man can search too far or be too well studied in the book of God's Word, or the book of God's works."
~Sir Francis Bacon~

"The Bible makes plain that there should be effects in Society from the preaching of the Gospel, and voices were raised to emphasize this fact and lives were given to illustrate it."
~Francis Schaeffer~

"The greatest missionary is the Bible in the mother tongue. It never needs a furlough, is never considered a foreigner."
~William Cameron Tonswend, founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators~



"The word 'give up' (in the Greek) describes the temptation to quit in despair when we are tired. Giving up is motivated by weariness that comes from living in a sinful, hostile world, feeling worn out by injustice, mistreatment, misunderstanding, and personal failure.
How do we keep going when we feel like bailing out? The cost of being a disciple tempts us to loose heart. Swimming against the current is tiring - why not go with the flow? It is easier to float than to fight. How tempting is it to drift with the current morally, socially, ethically or spiritually! How do the tough keep going - by determination or positive thinking or strategic retreat from the world?
The Lord's formula is clear and simple: "They should always pray and not give up." The antidote to despair is not determination but dependence, not positive thinking but prayer. And "should always pray" doesn't say it quite strong enough. Prayer is not something we are permitted to do if we please. The word should be translated 'must': "They must always pray and not give up." Prayer is what we are commanded to do as God's will. It is the only sure basis of perseverance, since it is the means God uses to accomplish His will in our lives.
Furthermore, we must not ONLY pray, we must ALWAYS pray ("Pray continually" 1 Thessalonians 5:17) "Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayer and requests." Ephesians 6:18. Does that mean our time must be spent in nothing but prayer? No, but it does mean that we must do nothing WITHOUT prayer."
~Gary Inrig~