Friday morning thoughts over tea

I am sitting in my living room, leisurely sipping tea and updating my blog. Ahh... what blissful luxury is mine today. :-) I have class starting at 8:30 or 8 am Monday through Friday, and work fifteen hours in those four days as well. The last few weekends have been a little hectic as once I finished my J-term homework I had to start right in on finishing two huge books (one was a doctorate level book... yeah I didn't get too far in that one) for my Apologetics 2 class and then once we got the class discussion out of the way for THAT I was working on a presentation on comparing C.S. Lewis to Francis Shaeffer for the same class. I loved it, I just wasn't focused too much on the concrete realm of reality ;-) In between all of that, my car finally gave up the ghost, but it took a little more for the final diagnosis of 'he's DEAD, Jim' to get proclaimed as we explored various options of life support and heroic measures of eeking out the last drops of life that we could from the poor old Blue Whale (it was a blue 1990 chevy lumina van, that was somehow christened 'the blue whale' and more often than not was 'the beached blue whale') I don't know why, but female chromosones are not designed to handle automobile trouble. It stresses us. I don't know why. It just does. Especially when it strands us in various places of the city. Guys think of it as a cool challenge; girls think of it as distress. So anyway. My Romanian brother and boyfriend got to exercise their 'save distressed female' powers during all of that. *sigh*
Now I am trying to gear myself up to drag myself away from musing on cyberspace and sending it out into the void. I have to figure out getting to the DMV to declare the Blue Whale dead, and I have to read some homework for my Methods of Biblical Counseling class. The lecture part of the class has been interesting if nothing else. I'm still not sure that I'm entirely sold on the paradigm of Biblical Counseling as presented at Boyce, but if nothing else its fun learning a different worldview and approach towards helping others through crisis and stresses.
I woke up thinking about Romania and replaying some memories of my time there through my brain. Along with everything else, I've been doing a lot of praying and soul searching about what God wants me to do after I graduate, what I want me to do after I graduate, what is being the best steward of what God has given me would be, etc. When I first came to college, my goal was to get back to Romania as soon as possible. While I don't doubt that God called me to go there when He did and do what I did, I have been really struggling with the thoughts of, well was that for always or just for a season? And I've been really musing about why I wanted to go, what I did while I was there, and why I loved it. The funny thing is that I went to the orphanage to see IF I could live overseas long-term as a missionary. While I was there I fell in love with various aspects of my situation there, but I lost sight of seeking the IF and decided it WAS. It was for that time, but I don't think I asked Him enough if it was for long-term times. So what is the long-term goal? Bear with me as I sort through my random-global thought process. If you don't want an interesting ride, just scroll down to the end ;-)

I discovered this last week that a girl I'm friends with is fluent in American Sign Language, and she invited me to go to her Deaf church with her sometime. I ended up skyping my friend who is deaf for a while and it was fun rediscovering that part of myself. My problem isn't 'oh my gosh, I've got to scrape together some options as I simply don't know what to do!' My problem is, "Holy schmoly, there are waaaay too many flippin' options of what I COULD do! Which one do I pick?!" I know I don't a normal 7-5 or 9-7 Mon-Fri job... I've mused quite a bit about a Master's in Teaching, but the thought of working in the School System makes my home school heart cringe and shudder for various reasons. A good friend of mine just discovered she's pregnant and asked me to be her Doula. I said yes, and then started thinking of delving back into the midwifery world... I just don't know how long I could handle the hours on a regular basis, as babies don't like to come into the world when its bright outside... they usually like ridiculous hours like 2 am.


The overall theme is wanting to serve people and show them how to serve God better and bringing Glory to God. I could do that in a normal occupation, in a dramatic and wacky occupation, and simply by being who God has created me in all situations He's put me (systematically confounding and irritating people as I go, driving them to their knee's in irritation most likely, but whatever) Whether that's as a volunteer at an orphanage, a missionary to Gypsies, an interpreter for the Deaf, a teacher in various capacities, a Doula or Midwife, a wife and mother, a good friend, or something else entirely that God has yet to show me, I hope to be obedient to His calling and a faithful witness to Him.

what my life is all about right now

I apologize. I really do. I know I have been a horrible blogger this summer. I have tried to give you updates excusing such absence from the cyber-world (I have a life...) so here is the latest update on what my life consists of right now:

Supposed to...

The list of "supposed to's" or "not supposed to's" have kind of been driving me nuts lately.

I'm at college. Therefore, I am supposed to do homework. I don't mind this one so much, as I like most of my homework. But on gorgeous days like today, where the grass is green and freshly cut, the birds are singing like there's no tomorrow, the sun is FINALLY shining and flowers are blooming, it seems rather sick and wrong to have to study inside. Yes, I COULD study outside. But there's the whole 'desperate seminarian' factor, which so far I have successfully avoided. But it means study INSIDE. Besides, if I study outside, no studying will happen. Drat it.

I'm at a Southern Baptist college, therefore I am supposed to be either Calvinist or Arminian. And IF I know what's good for me, I'll be a Calvinist. No middle-of-the-road-ness here. Yer either white or black. What, you grew up non-denominational where they don't put over-emphasis on this doctrine? Well, honey, that's why God in His sovereignty brought you here. Dang it.

It's preview weekend, and you never know when some curious potential student will go through the two heavier-than-heck-fire doors, down the looong hallway to the VERY END where my room is (it's the banished corner of the girl's dorm. NO ONE goes down there unless 1. they live there, such as myself or 2. they need to borrow a textbook or 3. they are inviting my room mate to a women's ministry major event) Therefore, we are supposed to keep our room perfectly clean for the next week. (this MIGHT be the biggest challenge of my college career)

You are supposed to write all essays in perfect compliance with the Style Manual. Which was invented by an Obsessive Compulsive Perfectionist who had way too much time on his hands, thought computers were type-writers, and thought Microsoft word would always do what it was supposed to. Microsoft Word, any version, by the way, is a direct result of the fall and proves that computers do indeed have minds of their own. Oppositional defiant minds of their own.

I, as a woman, am not supposed to venture out in ministry on my own. I am supposed to either pray really hard for Mr. Right to find me SOON or only minister to other women. Not really even teenage guys. Possibly children, but YOUNG boys if I HAVE to minister to boys.
Not that I'm pining away to be a pastor or youth minister, those are some of the LAST things I want to do. It's just the 'you can't do this 'cause your a girl' attitudes are starting to wear thin.

Just a few examples of supposed to's. I'm also supposed to turn the other cheek, respond with gentleness and patience, love the unloveable, be counter-cultural and follow what the Bible and the Lord tells me to (but be careful how you word that last part as you never know when a cessationist is going to jump out of the bushes and start sermonizing on the sufficiency of Scripture and the dangers of Charismatics or Penticostals)

And, to be honest, my very human self is throwing a fit. I would really like to throw all these 'supposed to's' out the window and be a free-spirited, non-denominational, independantly-minded Yank who grew up on a farm, opening doors for myself and fixing things and squashing bugs and not caring who saw me without makeup with my hair disheveled as I made mud-pies with my brother in the river down the road.
However, I am currently swamped with homework on a campus in the South (yes, we are in the south, people! I don't CARE if it's not as extreeme South as Alabama or Georgia, it's still the south!!) which places high value on women being southern belles and guys being the leader-gentlemen-somethings. Which is perfectly fine.
I'm just really looking forward to summer break!!!!
And then, by the end of summer break, I will most likely be really looking forward to diving back into acadamia where every comment on theology is an open-ended invitation to passionate debate, where guys feel guilty if a girl opens the door for them (unless they are moving her furniture for her), where sweet tea is a way of life and all outfits are coordinated and girls don't run around, but wear skirts and dainty flip-flops and always wear make-up. Oh, and were you fry EVERYTHING, including ice cream, cheese-cake and oreo's. Not just chicken.

BUT in the meantime, I have to finish reading my psychology book and write a report on it, finish reading my articles for Ancient Near Eastern History and write reports on THOSE, and book my plane ticket to Romania and find a camera I can afford.

And between you and me, I REALLY wish that Calvin and Armenius had stuck to Farming and left the Reformation to Luther. I really think if they just left it at the 99 thesis, we'd all be a lot happier. Well, Wycliffe did some good things too. Okay Luther and Wycliffe. But that's it!!

~Princess Ouch~

Sweet Tea, hot or cold?

Okay so I've mentioned Sweet Tea before, but this time I'm going into detail.
I was on the phone telling my Mom about how very much like the SOUTH it is here, and how when I comment on that fact, people say, 'Weeeelll, noooo, it's not really the South. Well okay I guess kind of, but you're just on the edge of the South. Not like in the heart of the South or the Deep South or anything. Yeah. Just the edge of the South."
To which my Mom replied,
"What EVER. There is no such thing as 'the edge of the south' you are either full in our full out! There is no in between! You're on dry land or you're drowning in the river. Edge of the South? Ha! They are in denial! You are in the South."
Now what on earth does this have to do with Sweet Tea, you ask? I will tell you. Because Sweet Tea is to the South as the Flag is to the United States of America.
So I was talking with a friend who is from Alabama, and I told her what my mom had said about us not being on the edge of the South. She looked at me with shocked horror and indignation and said,
"This is not the South. Any State that does not have a LAW about serving Sweet Tea in all it's restaurants is NOT the South!"
I laughed and was like, 'that's funny Amber' and she looked at me with authentic sobriety and said,
"I'm serious. It is against the law in Alabama to not serve Sweet Tea in our restaurants!"
Okay that's just extreme.
Now you must understand that it cannot be Sweet HOT Tea that we are talking about here. It must be Sweet ICED Tea. You may put some lemon juice in it if you are so inclined, and then you can call it "the champagne of the South." However DO NOT say anything milk or cream in your tea or you will get a 'oh you poor deprived foreigner who doesn't even know how to take your tea' look.
An example would be the other day. I had fifteen minutes between classes, and I was really really tired and rather cold.
(On a side note, whoever runs the temperature control for this facility thinks that we are all going to be Missionaries to Siberia and is trying to acclimate our bodies to extreme temperatures! The classrooms are FREEZING! So we get up early in the morning to go to class and put on sweaters, pants, have our hair down, chunky socks, a few of us have thought of bringing gloves to class. However we're in that building for about three to four hours and so are not around when it heats up to the blazing humid sticky hotness of August that invades the outdoors. So we're trying to convince ourselves that we aren't icicles when we step out the door and are hit with a humid oven blast. It would be one thing if we could dress like it's still technically summer but have a thermos of a hot beverage with us in class, but they want to keep the rugs nice and have banned everything but water in classrooms. *sigh*)
Okay so I was cold and tired. When I was in England several years ago I became acquainted with English Breakfast Tea with sugar and cream and it was one of the best breakfast experiences of my life. They have it at the Cafe here too, however the cafe is across campus. I thought that running might be a good idea, because 1. it would get my blood moving and help me stay awake and warm for the next class and 2. it would help me work off the calories I was about to consume and 3. I didn't know how long the line would be in the Cafe so thought the more time I could save the better it would be.
So I started jogging.
Now, you have to understand, this is a Campus of Southern Bells. Southern Bells do not run if they do not have to. They are still getting over the fact that hoop skirts are out of fashion and ladies can move quicker than a graceful, slow glide without looking uncouth. They CAN go jogging but only for aerobic purposes and in groups or in the gym.
So I caught a few stares as I zipped across campus. I have a friend from Tennessee who was in ROTC all through High School and while he was in a secular college, and almost ran into him.
"Forget something, Rachel?" he asked, laughing.
"Yeah Tea." I called as I continued. I heard him make some sort of "tsch" sound.
Anyway I got my tea and all was good. Until lunch, when I bumped into my Tennessian friend again at the cafeteria.
"So now what did you forget this morning?" he asked.
"Tea. See, I only had a few minutes between classes, but I was really cold and tired, because those classrooms are freezing, so wanted some tea to wake me up, so I was running to get it so I wouldn't be late."
"So you ran all the way there and all the way back. For tea."
"No not all the way back as I didn't want to spill hot liquid on myself."
"Hot liquid? Where'd you get hot liquid? Wait, you got HOT tea?"
Now, first off, I'm kind of wondering why anyone would go get a cold drink to help thaw out from a cold classroom.
Second, the way he said 'hot tea' you'd think I'd said I'd just run to get some Kimchi and Century Eggs from the Korean students 'cause I like it so much.
"Yeah I got HOT tea, remember I was COLD!"
"You drink your tea HOT?"
"Yeah with sugar and milk!"
"You put MILK in your tea?!"
"Well, not if I can get cream."
He kind of backed away from me at that point.

So. I was told that I was doing suprisingly well with the tea for a Northern girl during my first week here. I do LIKE Iced Sweet Tea, but I also like hot English Breakfast tea. Its kind of like, 'Which is better, chocolate chip cookies or chocolate chip cookie dough?"
Sometimes I really want the stuff baked and other times I'm like, whats the point? Just leave out the eggs and call it good. Same with tea. Which is better, hot or cold? I realize this issue is an intergral part of the culture here, kind of like Calvinism vs. Armenianism, however I like both. The only difference is that with tea, when it's winter Hot tea is most decidedly better and when I've been outside in blazing heat cold tea is most decidedly better. However I know there's people who have their daily sweet Iced Tea even in negative 13 degree weather with a windchill of negative 30 degrees, and those who will have hot tea even in 99 degree weather. Just like there are those who will demand that you leave the cookie dough unbaked or those who will pull out the health dictionary and list the evils of uncooked dough and why you MUST cook it. Or why others will stay up until two in the morning dancing with circular reasoning about Calvinist vs. Armenianism.
(incidentally when asked if I'm a Calvinist or Armenian I say 'yes' and sit back and enjoy the show as they come unglued. Just kidding. I don't enjoy watching them come unglued I flee in terror before they try to convert me to one extreeme or another)
So yeah. Anyhoo.
There it is. I kind of had to just get that off my chest. I'm sure I rambled, but I'm equally sure you were laughing somewhere after the beggining and before the end at what I wrote. :-) As long as we're all smiling at the end of it, that's what's important, no?
(at least in the case of Tea.)