struggling

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in all the earth"

For a person who is a DOER and likes to fix things, this verse is one I struggle with incredibly.
I want to DO. I want to FIX. I want to RECONCILE.
I want to bend over backwards until everyone is pleased and feels better and likes me again.

And I pray and pray and sense the Lord telling me,
Be still.
Do what is in front of you.
Let me take care of it.

URGH! But God! I want to HELP!

And He graciously says, "Girl, I don't need your help honey. But you need Mine. Shouldn't you stop arguing with Me and start finishing those papers?"

Alright Lord.

But please please please fix it!!!

Job's blessing

I am taking an "Interpreting Wisdom Literature" class and my professor is somewhat brilliant. The class lecture today was fairly profound and very helpful; I wish I had heard this two years ago, however God in His Sovereignty decided to give it to me know.

I apologize for the length, but I hope it helps and instructs and convicts you as much as it did me. Enjoy!

March 20, 2012

Epilogue of Job 42:7-17 – God tells the three friends to ask Job to pray for them because God would accept Job’s prayer on their behalf. Job was blessed and comforted from all the evil that the Lord had allowed upon him. The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than the earlier days. The daughters are named in the text, and given an inheritance like their brothers and noted to be the most beautiful women in the land.

When you read the summary of the restoration, the extent of the wealth, the data about his age, and the length of life; the thing in Scripture closest to the way the story of Job is wrapped up, what is most like that is the summary statements about the most important of the characters in Genesis. Particularly the summary statement of the life of Jacob. With the life of Jacob being told to us in segments of his life, and then when he dies virtually the same kind of summary statement.

But to talk about this final text, Job has seen that there is an experience more exquisite and more intense than even the harshest suffering and that experience is the presence of God in Job’s life. He recognizes at the end that this is the one thing that can never be taken away. When Job saw the Lord, and the Lord spoke to them, Job realized that the realities of life are far more complicated than are the generalities, the probabilities, and the wisdom; even the great wisdom collected by the wise and passed along. When we dip into this epilogue at the beginning, it begins with God’s verdict. And the verdict of God is that Job was true in his observations about the Lord; whereas making traditional wisdom fixed and inflexible yielded false assumptions and resulted in slander of God Himself – not to mention Job.

In Job 42:7-9, here is intercession. The first step in the restoration of Job was his intercession on behalf of those friends who had deepened his grief as he had to absorb those accusations of great sin; and rather than grieving Job was figuratively backed into a corner where he was forced to refute what he knew to be false.

This first step in his restoration was to renew his lifestyle of intercession. Prior to his great loss, the major focus of Job’s life was intercession. Look back and read Job 1 and 2. Takes a couple of minutes and then you know come back to what we are talking about now, and you will probably recognize the very careful inter-leafing of all of this into a seamless fabric. Prior to the loss of everything Job’s daily routine consisted of serious intercession on behalf of every one of his children. That intercession has been lost to him. I think it is probably not the least bit difficult to recognize the profound nature of all of this trauma; and to realize that not only did Job loose his children and his possessions, but he also lost the fundamental fabric of his life. So not only is he bereft of all that he loved, you know I suspect that he could see no way forward and certainly he could see no way back; believing his life to be forever changed.

One of the echo’s of Job found in this epilogue is the phrase, “My servant Job,” which repeats the designation of Job by the Lord in chapters 1 and 2. And Job learns that being the servant of the Lord involves an intimate relationship with God. And the Lord affirms the centrality of intercession in Job’s life. He can no longer intercede for the children he has lost. He must intercede even for those who have heightened and intensified his suffering.

Now can you see how seamlessly this can segway into the character and the conduct of Christ, and the fact that the Lord demands of His people that their character and conduct must reflect the character and the conduct of God. In terms of the length of this epilogue practically half of the verbiage is a somewhat detailed description of those things the friends of Job do to repent, plus the efficacy/ethic-acy of the intercession of Job. “I will forgive you when Job prays for you.” The beatitudes. You know, the specific details of beatitudes are reflected in Job’s own belief and behavior. And you know, make it a point to read the beatitudes as you reflect on this epilogue.

The Great Grief of Job gave way to additional wounds by those who had a duty to comfort Job. But the restoration of Job which is the remainder of the book – 42:10-17 – the restoration came once Job was as gracious to those who did not deserve it; as gracious as God Himself is gracious. Commentators including ancient rabbi’s and fathers of the early church have frequently made much of the fact that when the Lord restored Job, Job received double of everything that was taken away. Often commentators have observed that this is God’s equitable repayment to Job. If you read the Law of Moses, there is a system of repayment and reparations that often add value to the value of what was lost. For instance, if any kind of crime – crime against property, or crime against persons – when that kind of debt was repaid, it was repaid plus a premium – value added to that. And sense Job’s loss of everything was undeserved, and was a direct result of the activity of the adversary, that when God repaid Job, He added a premium to it. As they say in the trade, that’ll preach.

But all that fails to recognize that God did not owe Job. And that everything that the Lord ever did for Job was gracious and merciful. And so while that will preach, the reality is that the Lord makes no guarantees about life, and far less do the promises of God guarantee wealth and power, or even happiness. I am sure that Job always wished he could understand all of this. But he now knows that he will never understand. He did, however, learn by the harshest of life experience that God can always be trusted.

So Job 42:10-17: The Restoration! The Lord restored Job when Job was gracious to the undeserving. Even when restored, Job still needed comfort and consolation. And his family and his true friends provided that. Never again would Job fail to recognize the intensity of the sufferings of other people. As long as he lived, he had those ten graves to visit. He probably never wasted any opportunity to demonstrate love, compassion, support, encouragement to those who were in need, and to those who suffered.

The answer to all of his ‘WHY’ questions was ‘There is no answer.’

All that remains is the presence of God, and Job learned that that was enough.

Ever after, Job lived content in the knowledge that God would ultimately bring him safely home. One of the greatest preachers in Baptist history was a 20^th century pastor and revivalist named Vance Havner. Let me recommend the website www.vancehavner.com which is maintained by a friend and admirer of Havner. And while you are at it, let me recommend a companion site: www.2prophetu.com .

Vance Havner and his wife were childless. After his one pastorate, which was First Baptist Church of Charleston, S.C., for the rest of his life, Vance Havner’s ministry was itinerant. And the economic reality being what it was, it was seldom possible for Havner’s wife to travel with him. This story is fleshed out in Havner’s little book, ‘Though I walk through the valley.’ In the book, which Havner wrote after his wife died, he said that no matter where he was, every day that he traveled for that period of forty four years, every day he was away from home, he had a letter from his wife. You know he wasn’t sure how she managed that, except that she learned what typical delivery time would be for mail. Now it may seem like a radically different world, but during much of Havner’s career, he could not afford to make a lot of long-distance phone calls. So the primary contact with her for all of those decades was by mail. After forty-four years of marriage, Havner’s wife died. He outlived her by many years. And in that book, he wrote with such tender grief what all of that was like. What you might call the ‘punch line’ to the book was his statement near the end of that book. ‘It is easy to say that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have. And then you realize that Jesus is all you want.’

Lessons from Job:

1. God never stifles a sincere question. But often He leaves them unanswered.

2. Learn to tell God how you feel, and be honest with God. He can take it. But remember who you are talking to.

3. Some answers will never come. Do not promise people that one day their questions will be answered. That is simply not true.

4. In every crisis, God can be trusted.

I think when I reflect on this I think of the words in part of a hymn, which has within the hymn this lyric: ‘Even when you cannot trace His hand, you can still trust His heart.’ If life has never dealt you the kind of blows that make you want to shake your fist in the face of God and demand an explanation; if that has not happened, it will.

Let me recommend a couple of authors:

David O. Seamands: Methodist pastor, professor, has got to be really old by now, if he’s still living. But he wrote several remarkable books that address the subjects, address situations of great pain, loss, and sorrow. They are remarkable. The first of those and the last time I checked, this one book had sold close to a million copies. I haven’t checked for 20 years. The title of that book is “Healing for damaged emotions.”

Archibald Hart: Arch is a professor at Fuller Seminary in California. I had the privilege of taking a couple of courses at Fuller’s extension location in Honolulu. Hart articulated some things that made a radical difference in not only in what I understand but in my own life. It is the theory of Hart that for believers, the most difficult aspect of suffering and loss is learning to forgive God. He is a Ph.D., he is a fully credentialed psychologist, and Arch says that having a robust faith in God can make the great trauma’s of life harder to deal with; because the believer knows that God can do whatever God wants to do. And so, you know, if you are the least bit orthodox in your own Christian faith, then you realize that either God allowed what happened, or God willed what happened. And if in fact God is God, what’s the difference? Because whether you explain things by saying, “God willed it,’ or saying ‘God allowed it,’ if in fact God possesses all real power, what is the difference? And you know Dr. Hart who also his wife as well is a fully credentialed psychologist, and the two of them are practicing psychologists in addition to his work as a professor. They believe that ordinarily people do not realize that they are angry with God. Because after all, this is something we are brought up – that’s a foreign concept. But he says that unless and until one recognizes anger and resentment against God, acknowledges is, owns it, and processes it by forgiving God, that they can never move past that point and become genuinely health emotionally and spiritually again.

You know I believe that they are correct. Emotions and no emotions are anymore visceral than is that complex of emotions that results from traumatic events – great loss, great suffering. The fact is that those emotions often have a life of their own. And it is an illusion to think that you can talk yourself out of all of the trauma that accompanies great loss. No. You have to live with it, you have to endure it, and you have ultimately you have to recognize it for what it is. And from a sincere heart, forgive God. In the great trauma’s of life, knowing that perhaps you should not feel a certain way doesn’t change the way you feel. You know I was very careful to question Archibald Hart in private as well as in public to be sure that I understood what he suggested. He was not suggesting that one should ask the Lord to forgive them for being angry with God. No, he was saying the individual must ultimately freely forgive God. And you know I think he is right; he has not written nearly enough about this but I have not laid eyes on him for 20 years. So he may well have published something in the meantime.

If in fact God is everything we believe He is, and if God is as the Bible presents Him, then it does I think, the more sound someone’s personal doctrine of god is, the harder it is to reconcile the great tragedies of life with God as we believe Him to be.

So Lord willing we will do something other than Job tomorrow.

Thoughst of College, Smells and Sounds of Home

Down to the last few days before leaving the Great Plains back for the ol' South and my last semester. Did I mention yet it was my final semester before I have a Bachelor's in Science? No? Its my last semester. I only have ONE left.
One
Last
Semester!!!!
To be honest, I can't wait. I haven't a clue what I will do once I'm done. Revel in the glory of no more assigned reading, no more writing assignments where I have to b.s. my way through the required page amounts when I feel I can succinctly say the same thing in five (or one) sentances.
Yes, I AM considering further education. However, the dynamics of that degree and school will be completely different.
This season of life has been, in a word, hard. I've been sick with some very serious illnesses, discovered I have genetic complications that run in my family, watched people I deeply care about suffer - either through no fault of their own, or completely because of their own stupidity, but either way, still hard - been constantly told that I must revise this ro change that or mold myself to fill someone else's definition of 'correct.'
Has there been good in it? Of COURSE. I've met amazing people, made amazing friends, seen God work in amazing ways in my life and in others. I've seen Him redeem time, mistakes, people, choices.
But I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to stop living in a bubble of correct doctrine and conformity. I'm ready to see what God has next.
Do I sound cynical? Maybe. Mom and the littles started homeschooling last week, and today was full of trying to stay out of the way, watch them fight old battles that Mom and I used to butt heads against when I was under her skilled tutleage, and trying to decide if I NEEDED to overcome my deep desire to continue procrastinating reading Theology or just continue giving my brain a rest from acadamia before re-engaging it on the 24th.
Anyhoo. Mom wants to go watch Stargate Atlantis with me. :-) I made Souffle for dinner and decafe black tea is simmering on the stove. The littles are bouncing around, finishing final school assignments and asking to play computer games or watch with us, and Kendra is in the kitchen sweeping and muttering how she will NOT stoop to the level of SGA with us but not sure what else to do :-)
Ahh... sweet sounds and smells of home :-)
~Princess Ouch~

Final exam - case study

Well, not to get all controversial at the end of the semester. But being controversial is sort of my mode of operation anyway. The following is the case study that served as our final exam for my Ethics class. It was a BEAR to answer, let me tell you! I had to think about it for a few days, talk with a few people, and do lots of research online regarding the subject - as well as pray of course!! Here is what the case study said:

Joane, a woman in the local community near your church, has been visiting the church and has requested to join the church. She presents a letter of recommendation from her previous church stating she is a member in good standing. Through some discussions with her, you determine her to be an orthodox, believing Christian and present her to the church for membership. After being voted in and attending faithfully for some time, she approaches the Minister to Children about working in the children's ministry. As is normal practice at your church, the staff performs a background check on Joane. Upon receiving the results of the background check, your staff immediately informs you that Joane was born Joe. You call Joane in for discussion and she informs you that the results are true and that she was born male. Joane said she felt like she was born in the wrong body and desperately wanted to become female. She traveled to Europe, had gender reassignment surgery, and is currently taking hormone therapy drugs to complete the physical transformation from male to female.

How would you counsel Joane? What would you suggest Joane do in light of Scripture? Make sure to include any relevant biblical passages in your answer.

My response when reading this for the first time:

augh!

However, this is what my response was after the prayer, research, and asking others opinions on the topic:

I would tell ‘Joan’ that our discussion must take a rather intense turn, but that we would conduct it as respectfully and gently as possible. I would continue to call the individual Joan as that is the current legal name.

First I would inform “Joan” that the church cannot in any way accept ‘her’ application for any leadership roles while ‘she’ is a transgender. The church has a strong commitment to the belief that God is sovereign and knows each person He creates and has a purpose for them in the way He has created them – specifically male or female. Those who reject this belief and take matters into their own hands are in essence telling God that He does not know what He is doing, He is not in control, and the individual knows better. One’s gender is a fundamental part of one’s birthright. It is one of the few things we enter and leave the world with. The Bible clearly condemns those who reject God’s birthright to them (Hebrews 12:14-17).

Secondly, I would ask Joan to read with me 1 Corinthians 6:17-20. Even though intense surgery has been done upon Joan, in God’s eyes she is not a she but rather a he who has committed very intense atrocities against his body. Presenting oneself as a women when one is a man goes against God’s law (Deuteronomy 22:5). God loves ‘Joan’ but still sees Joe.

In light of this, any relationship ‘she’ pursues at this point would in essence be a homosexual relationship, which goes against 1 Corinthians 6:9. However, there is always hope in Christ, which is clearly pointed out in 1 Timothy 1:9-11.

Joan may not be willing to even consider stopping hormone treatments and seeking reversal surgery. However, I would still offer the services of the church and also inform Joan of www.pfox.org. Specifically the article found under http://pfox.org/Former_Transgender_Tells_His_Story.html.

If Joan wants to remain in the church, there must be some strict guidelines. First, as pointed out, it is the view of this church that by pursuing life as a female when God created ‘her’ as a male, ‘she’ is living in rebellion against God and His plan. Now, she will not be shunned from the community. However, ‘she’ will not be able to step into positions of leadership or teaching while remaining as ‘she’ is. Not unless Joan repents of these decisions, asks for God’s forgiveness, takes clear, obvious steps of reversing the process, and undergoes biblical counseling within the church will leadership be on the table.

Second, while the church at large will not be informed of Joan’s past, the church leadership will be. Joan’s private affairs will remain as such but the staff needs to know for future reference.

If any man in the church wishes to pursue a relationship, Joan is not to entertain the pursuit but to clearly forbid the man to continue. If he is persistent, she must tell him why. Failure to do this will result in the church stepping in and informing the man of her past and discipline on Joan. This is because the relationship would in effect be homosexual which the church can not in any way endorse.

The church will not offer Joan any recommendations to other churches without informing them of her past in case she is ever considered for positions of leadership.

The church will not take a position of ostracizing Joan. However by presenting the identity as female when Gods intent was male, this is a kind of deception to the church. It is difficult for trust to continue when this fundamental misrepresentation of identity occurs.

Having said all of this, I would ask Joan what ‘her’ response is. I would not wish to say any of this with an air of judgment, condemnation, or bigotry. Joan has professed faith in Jesus Christ and seems to be an orthodox Christian. Therefore, past actions do not make sense given a professed belief in the validity, accuracy and authority of Scripture. It is my hope that by explaining these things gently, if Joan is not repentant at the time of the meeting, future discussion will lead Joe to realize what he has done and repent, and allow the church to come alongside him in reconciling his physical and spiritual self with God’s plan and purpose for his life.

Thoughts? Comments? How would you have responded differently or the same?

~Princess Ouch~

Happy.... er... Resurrepascalster..?

"So Happy East- Resurrection Sunday! I mean, well, Pascal.. I mean... well, what is today, anyway? Happy Jesus Day! Are you doing an Easter Egg hunt? Wait..."
I tell you, Church on Sunday was confusing. What on earth do we call it? I mean its been Easter for the last 1500 years, yet suddenly we've all been hit with the revelation that it isn't really EASTER; that's a pagan holiday. No, it is Resurrection Sunday! But wait... are we going to include our roots and Jewish Bretheren? Well then it's Pascal. Wait, wait... Pascal doesn't recognize Jesus. So it's Resurrepascalster... whew is THAT a mouthful.

Hey, just to throw this out there. How about we consider something that seems totally arbitrary and yet at the same time might be related (and I know I'm gonna step on some toes here, so brace yourself. Maybe grab a chocolate Easter - I mean Resurrepascalster Bunny to chew on to defuse the stress)

a) " Construction of meaning. Postmodernists don’t care about talks about whether truth is out there, they are not like the X-files. They are opposite, they don’t CARE if the Truth is out there. What they say is that when they construct meaning, they construct meaning through language. Language is how we make ourselves out to be what we are. Language only makes something true for the person using that particular language. So for example, ‘Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life,’ is only true for Christians because that is the language we choose to use about Christ. ‘That rose is beautiful’ is beautiful to us because that’s what we choose to call it but it may be ‘ugly’ to someone else."

a) Wait, you say. What on earth do your class notes have to do with this whole Easter.... Resurrepascalster controversy?

The whole deal with Postmodernism is 'what does this term do for you." There's no centralized term for anything, there's no truth out there that is solidified that we can all reference. If it irritates you or doesn't work for you, just redefine it. Now as Christians, we would NEVER do something like that... right?

Well, I'm not sure thats true anymore. We're so focused in our special little branches of 'redefining' stuff. We've got the 'carnal Christian' with the John Piper-ites, the 'Resurrection Sunday' with the intellectuals, or 'Redeemed Pascal' or whatever with the hard-core intellectuals. Dude, whatever happened to just saying 'Easter'? Yeah okay its based off of a pagan holiday. Most of our songs are based off of songs or tunes or styles that originated in a pagan way. Hate to break it to you, but if you look at the Tabernacle waaaaay back in the Old Testament, the styles of their worship followed the trends of their days as well. Those Cherubim guarding the Ark of the Lord on the Lid are fashioned in a style common on most religious artifacts from Canaan.

Yeah, we need to be distinct from the pagan world around us. We also need to be centralized. Its been Easter for at least 1500 years if not longer. Redefining all the terms right now out of reaction to something isn't helpful, it's causing confusion. I mean, whats next, a secret handshake to get in through the Church doors?

Okay I'm exaggerating a little bit and probably sounding like I'm over-reacting. Yes we need to 'take back' the Christian holidays for the Lord. But we aren't going to do that if we don't start with what is in our hearts. Leave the Easter Bunny alone for a minute while you examine your own heart: when was the last time you told an unbeliever what the Easter Story IS? Stop trying to fight for appearances to suit your preferences! Trust me, if you actually DO what the New Testament says, you won't have time to worry if they call it Easter or Pascal or Jimmy John's Cheap Sandwich Day (I made that up, btw. I don't know if JJ's had cheap sandwiches yesterday). If you are honestly doing what Christ Commanded, you will be tired, hungry, and frustrated as you pray through trying to make His message more understandable to a lost and dying world.

Traditions are good. I love traditions, really I do. But not when they become distracting. Not when changing them to suit our latest fad in theology or inter-church-and-doctrine-controversy. And yes people, we do have 'fads' in our doctrine and theology. Its okay, just accept it. But what is the POINT of them? Are you growing in maturity in Christ? Is your love for Him overflowing so that it is visible? Are people inspired when they see you to read the Bible and find out what it is that you have? Are you making people jealous that they don't have the Holy Spirit in their life like you do?

I'm not saying that I'm doing it perfectly or, 'Quick! Reject what THEY are saying and come over here and do what I am saying!'

All I'm saying is, 'What is your point? Because so far its just causing confusion and knocking off the center that has united us on this particular Sunday every year for the past one and a half millennium. There's been thousands of Christians before you who have the Holy Spirit and are thoughtful people. Why do you think you are so special to have figured it out where they couldn't?"

Harsh, yes. Brutal? Probably. Needed? Well, I don't believe in going along with what someone says just because they threw a bunch of syllables together that sounded pretty and are confident about how they sound. I've been around intellectuals too long.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go grab something out of my EASTER BASKET before I go prepare for my apologetics class paper. And yes, this paper is being utilized to share the gospel with Muslims on Thursday. The point of us being Christian academics and theologians is to better prepare us to engage a fallen world and irritating lost people. Are you engaging lost people? Or are you snarling about the inconvenience when they shock you with their depravity?

N Not really the Happy Easter post I was planning on, but I didn't know before this weekend that I wasn't allowed to post a Happy Easter post, I was supposed to write a Happy.... Resurrepascalster post.

~Princess Ouch~