Campus quotes

I have about 15 minutes before I have to be at work, so I thought I'd take that time to drink my rooibos tea and share some quotes collected from this semester. 

Student: Well, you DO know what the saying on campus is about guys and girls, right? THe girls say, "The odds are good (3:1 ratio) but the goods are ODD." and the guys say, "The girls here are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the ones available are either handicapped or way out there." '

Professor: I expect you to be in class every session unless you are nearly dead or in a car accident.

Professor: I need you to be engaged in class. Not just blood flowing through your veins, breathing, etc. NO! Drink a red bull, coffee, do jumping jacks; guys, hit each other... be engaged in class!!

Professor: If you have any schedual conflicts with other classes or work and this choir, let me know. And of course I'll press pretty hard for you to lean towards... reschedualing.. for OUR event...

Student: It was snowing outside, and we were like, 'oooh man... it'd be SO nice to have a boyfriend right now, and then HE could do all this dirty work!" But then I said, "NO! We are INDEPENDANT WOMEN!! ... We're not HAPPY about that, BUT we must live into that and maintain our reputation!!!" 

Professor tripping over someone's laptop cable in class: Sorry, I just.. dislogged... someone's .... technical situation. 

Professor: Did you hear the one about the pastor who was dreaming that he was preaching... and then he woke up and found out that he was?

Professor: Argumentation is having a slight edge that answers that little creature sitting on your shoulder saying, "So what" to what you are writing. 

Professor: You al know that I like grammar and punctuation. DO NOT WRITE THE WAY YOU TALK!! There's a little thing on your computers called 'Spell Check' too..." 

Professor: No one's gonna laugh at you when you interact appropriately in class. If they do laugh at you, we'll burn them at the stake..." 

Professor of Christian Education: So, did you get engaged over Christmas break?

Student: No sir, I'm a missions major. We hold out longer than the rest when it comes to MRS degrees. 

Professor of Missions: Don't say that!! You are giving me a bad name!! 

Student: (before the storm hit) Oh look! Kentucky's trying to snow! We've got our 'frozen cloud spit' for the week!

Student: (after storm hit) I thought we moved south for a reason!

Student from the Deep South: THIS is NOT the SOUTH! If it's not a LAW that you serve Iced Sweet Tea in all your resturaunts, it is NOT the south, ya'll!!

Religious Reformer

"The Aim, the Reproach, and the Triumph of the Religious Reformer.

1. The aim of the Religious Reformer. A Reformer is one who seeks to remove abuses which have crept into an organization or community, or one who boldly enters a field where error has held undisputed sway, and fearlessly wields amid giant powers of opposition, the weapons of truth. He aims to entirely revolutionize the minds of the community in which he labors, on that particular subject where he believes reform to be needed. A compromise between truth and error is not what he seeks, and will not satisfy him. 'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth' is his motto. Old systems of error, however sacred on account of their antiquity, he boldly attacks. Though massive darkness has long brooded over the people, he aims to dissipate the gloom, and shed upon them brilliant rays of light. His work is a mighty one; the ond for which he labors is noble and sublime. He holds a position in advance of the community in which he resides, and the age in which he lives - hence he possesses traits of character that are peculiar, which fit him to toil and suffer for the accomplishment of his designs. 

A spirit of noble daring is his. He fears not to grapple with error, though sanctioned by age, and supported by popular favor. He scruples not, if need be, to stand alone, as the champion of truth. With undaunted intrepidy he braves the "World's dread laugh" or meets it's frown. With a  spirit of indomitable perseverance, he steadily adheres to his purpose and determinedly pursues his single object. Every obstacle thrown across his path affords a new incentive to increased activity. Every difficulty he meets, only gives new strength and inspires fresh courage. He is not to be turned aside. Having put his hand to the plough, he looks not back. 

Self sacrificing effort and benevolent labor are his. His time, talents, property, are all laid upon the alter of truth. He toils, not to achieve a name, to amass wealth, or to advance a sect. He labors for the good of others, while often he recieves only their hatred, reproach and persecution. If there is one picture on earth that reminds us, more than any other, of the meek and lowly savior, it is the spirit and conduct of the reformer, patiently suffering at the hands of those whose moral elevation he labors to effect. And here is the test by which the true and false reformer may be tried and discovered. Infidelity boasts of seeking a reform. But when did Infidelity ever inspire it's advocates with a spirit of self-denial for the good of others? Where are it's sacrifices made to benefit and elevate the human race? Did infidelity ever suffer to benefit man? Does it today go forth, as an angel of mercy, to labor, to suffer, and to bless? No, no. But the true reformer has a high purpose, a benevolent aim; he occupies holy ground, and he can suffer, unjustly suffer, to benefit his fellow-men."

~John Quincy Adams~ 

(not the president, the Baptist pastor) 

Excuses excuses

The "No Excuses Litany" 

Noah was drunk...

Abraham was too old...

Jacob was a liar...

Leah was ugly...

Joseph was abused...

Moses was a stutterer...

Gideon was afraid...

Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer...

Rahab was a prostitute...

Jeremiah and Timothy were too young...

David had an affair and was a murderer...

Elijah was suicidal...

Isaiah preached naked...

Jonah ran from God...

John the Baptist ate bugs and was fashion-challenged...

Peter denied Christ...

The Apostles fell asleep while praying...

Martha worried about everything...

The Samaritan woman couldn't get an annulment...

Zacheus was too small...

Paul was too religious...

Timothy had an ulcer...

And Lazarus was dead!!!

"That's not my job!"

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

~Author Unknown~

The first list was from a friend's old blog, and the second has appeared in numerous jobs I've had. Thought I'd share. Hope you enjoy!!

~Princess Ouch~