I hate cell phones.
And I hate texting.
The reason I say this is this: Because of texting, two friends - one related and one not - are able to text me at 6:30 AM every other day this week, randomly saying 'Hi' and how much they appreciate me, thereby shutting off my alarm clock on my phone, enabling me to sleep through my 8am class of which I now have only 1 skip left before I fail the class.
Texting also allows my work to find me no matter where I am and inform me that, as one co-worker has the flu, and work now has a new policy of 'find your own replacement or work despite all adverse circumstances' if I don't come in, flu-infested-coworker will be making sandwiches.
now, neither of these things would be that big of a deal, except that I have been studying until 1am all this week trying to get stupid reading reports and weekly hermeneutic papers formatted correctly, and STILL haven't gotten the (at least) four books read that i then have to write book reviews on. Nor is this including time I must spend studying for Dr. Nazi's Final and Mrs. Math's second quiz and two weeks later the final.
Oh, and speaking of math, I HAVE to write this dumb extra-credit paper or else risk failing the class, because Amazon sort of forgot to send the textbook and my friend has generously lent me her math book when we can coordinate it, which isn't every week. Due to the laws of evilness out there, the weeks we CAN get homework done are not the weeks our dear professor collects homework. The weeks I'm unable to get math done just happen to be the weeks she collects.
But wait, there's more. The extra-credit paper is on Pierre de Fermat's final Theorem. Now, the only information I can find is some math hot-shots over-complicated explanation online riddled with calculus and complex expostulations that i don't understand, (I'm a language person, NOT a number person!!!) and the prof highly discourages web resources. Or a book at another library. not at our library, we're interested in theology, doctrine, history of the church, or music.
Can I pull my hair out, yet please?
I am working 15-20 hours a week, involved in 2 choirs (because I love music and need to have some kind of creative outlet or go crazy, and its a free music lesson twice a week), taking 5 classes, living cross-culturally, and have traveled across the country twice this semester during which times I got little to no homework done. My school is a "reading school" (which means they put emphasis on reading and writing reports on the reading) and is an extension of the seminary which was voted one of the toughest schools in the country (at least that's what my philosophy professor tells me). For one class i had 10 required textbooks and 10 more suggested readings. Now that WAS for Dr. Nazi's class; most of my classes require 3-5 books. However, they are books ranging from Milton's 'Paradise lost' and Augustine's "Confessions" to Francis Shaeffer's "The God Who Is There" to "the Closing of the American Mind"
And then my mom and professor ask me why I don't have time to organize a political club on campus. AAAAAAH!!!!
But lest you think i wallow in self pity, I did make two apple pies and deliver slices to the seminary side of the girls dorm, in which my dear friend bemoaned the 8 papers she has due, several of which are book reports, and English is her fourth language.
Having sent all that into the void, I am now off to see if I can find SOMETHING SOMEWHERE close by that will tell me in understandable terms who in blazes Fermat was and why my math teacher thought he would be a 'fun' assignment.
Living day to day trying to keep Christ as the focus
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
more quotes from the professors
It is crunch time. Therefore, instead of expounding on how much this time of the semester is NOT my favorite, I have decided to go back over the semester and share some of the more humorous points.
"Honestly, you read some of those extra-biblical writings and it sounds like (rival professor of philosophy) expounding on some nutty off-topic point. You can tell him I said that, too. He's out sick today, taking some vegan Tylenol. But you listen to him talk and you say to yourself, 'there's something funny with that..."
~Professor~
"No one has figured out the fine balance of family life, and ministry, and work, and community. If you have, you are the pastor tomorrow!"
~Pastor~
Student 1: Would our country be ruined if China decided to cash in the national debt?"
Prof: Yes, but their country would DIE.
Student 1: Why?
Prof: We import important stuff like, I dunno, food. So they cash in we say, "ok no more food." Its a give-take relationship.
Student 2: So why do we even bother with paying 'em back then?
Prof: Because we're SUPPOSED to.
Student 2: Yeah, morality is HUGE in Washington.
Prof: Yeah... been that way for a while.
Prof introducing new topic in class: This un's a big mess. Just warnin' ya.
"The Christian worldview is fun 'cause I get to go on a lot of soap boxes..."
~Prof~
"Does that make sense? If not, someone ask a question."
~Prof~
"Yes, the Bible is a very emotional book! Every time there's babies being dashed up on the rocks, thats supposed to elicit emotion! Anytime theres DOOMED language, "YOU WILL BE DESTROYED" language, that's commissive!"
~Hermeneutics prof~
"It was so quiet you could've heard a pin drop on the CARPET it was so quiet!"
"So this dog pukes in the living room in front of the hosts AND guests. And if that weren't enough to just take it out and SHOOT it, this vile creature turns around, goes back to that which is unholy. And in one fell action that defies the laws of physics, the nasty dog just sucked it all in and it was GONE. Not 'chomp chomp chomp'. It just SUCKED it all in. And to this DAY I can never see a Doxen."
~Hermeneutics prof~
"Jeremiah was called a weeping prophet. "Most of you will die and the rest of you will be taken into captivity by the nation you hate." This is NOT the way you grow a mega church in ancient Israel!"
"We all die. Death is the ultimate transient. Do you think that after 60 years a couple looks at each other and say, 'Well that was pretty good. You can go now." That's preposterous! Sin is a painful transient."
~Pastor~
"And we're like, "ya know... I'm sorry Babylon got da kick-butt, but.... what does that have to do with me?"
Prof: "Don't make a parable walk on all fours."
Student: Okay what does that even MEAN?
Prof: Wow, that was meant to clarify, not confuse... it means don't read more meaning into it than was originally intended.
Student: Well, I'm not from Louisiana, so...
"Single people are more succeptable of idolatry because they don't have a real person; they can imagine that there might actually be a perfect person out there.
Married people are stripped of such delusions, but they aren't always happy about it."
~Pastor~
"Slow down and smell the first-century Palestinian air. Feel the dirt between your toes and having not bathed in over a week... consider the audience Jesus was speaking to."
Prof: What is the difference between a pictorial embellishment and a verbal embellishment?
Student 1: For the sake of the argument, could you define what you mean by 'embellishment'?
Prof: Imaginative extrapolation!
Student 2: oh. Okay. That clears it right up.
"So speaking of repentance, here are your graded exams."
"If I could just read my own writing... wait, that's typewritten. How am I supposed to read this gibberish at the bottom? How do I know that's your signature and not your cat?! What is that? STEVE?! Are you serious?"
"The grandchildren could have been poster children for the doctrine of original sin. You know the reason I felt called to the ministry was so I didn't have to do nursery duty. I mean 'I'd love to help but I have to preach'..."
"I'm gonna write random words on the board to keep YOU engaged and MY mind sharp"
"We have not gathered (on Sunday mornings) to do our personal devotions with 200 people! That's distracting. Corporate worship is WITH PEOPLE. Look at each other!"
~Pastor~
"(an older professor) asked me when I was young and at Seminary what my stance on women pastors was. With the exuberance of youth and the stupidity of speaking too quickly, I told him. (The professor) just looked at me and all he said was, "One day this will be a matter of great embarrassment to you." The effect of that embarrassment was instantaneous. I can still point to the spot on the seminary lawn where he said, "you, my young friend, are an idiot." (In the next 12 hours, the students view changed as he went to the library and looked up every book and Scripture verse on the subject)"
~Prof~
"Honestly, you read some of those extra-biblical writings and it sounds like (rival professor of philosophy) expounding on some nutty off-topic point. You can tell him I said that, too. He's out sick today, taking some vegan Tylenol. But you listen to him talk and you say to yourself, 'there's something funny with that..."
~Professor~
"No one has figured out the fine balance of family life, and ministry, and work, and community. If you have, you are the pastor tomorrow!"
~Pastor~
Student 1: Would our country be ruined if China decided to cash in the national debt?"
Prof: Yes, but their country would DIE.
Student 1: Why?
Prof: We import important stuff like, I dunno, food. So they cash in we say, "ok no more food." Its a give-take relationship.
Student 2: So why do we even bother with paying 'em back then?
Prof: Because we're SUPPOSED to.
Student 2: Yeah, morality is HUGE in Washington.
Prof: Yeah... been that way for a while.
Prof introducing new topic in class: This un's a big mess. Just warnin' ya.
"The Christian worldview is fun 'cause I get to go on a lot of soap boxes..."
~Prof~
"Does that make sense? If not, someone ask a question."
~Prof~
"Yes, the Bible is a very emotional book! Every time there's babies being dashed up on the rocks, thats supposed to elicit emotion! Anytime theres DOOMED language, "YOU WILL BE DESTROYED" language, that's commissive!"
~Hermeneutics prof~
"It was so quiet you could've heard a pin drop on the CARPET it was so quiet!"
"So this dog pukes in the living room in front of the hosts AND guests. And if that weren't enough to just take it out and SHOOT it, this vile creature turns around, goes back to that which is unholy. And in one fell action that defies the laws of physics, the nasty dog just sucked it all in and it was GONE. Not 'chomp chomp chomp'. It just SUCKED it all in. And to this DAY I can never see a Doxen."
~Hermeneutics prof~
"Jeremiah was called a weeping prophet. "Most of you will die and the rest of you will be taken into captivity by the nation you hate." This is NOT the way you grow a mega church in ancient Israel!"
"We all die. Death is the ultimate transient. Do you think that after 60 years a couple looks at each other and say, 'Well that was pretty good. You can go now." That's preposterous! Sin is a painful transient."
~Pastor~
"And we're like, "ya know... I'm sorry Babylon got da kick-butt, but.... what does that have to do with me?"
Prof: "Don't make a parable walk on all fours."
Student: Okay what does that even MEAN?
Prof: Wow, that was meant to clarify, not confuse... it means don't read more meaning into it than was originally intended.
Student: Well, I'm not from Louisiana, so...
"Single people are more succeptable of idolatry because they don't have a real person; they can imagine that there might actually be a perfect person out there.
Married people are stripped of such delusions, but they aren't always happy about it."
~Pastor~
"Slow down and smell the first-century Palestinian air. Feel the dirt between your toes and having not bathed in over a week... consider the audience Jesus was speaking to."
Prof: What is the difference between a pictorial embellishment and a verbal embellishment?
Student 1: For the sake of the argument, could you define what you mean by 'embellishment'?
Prof: Imaginative extrapolation!
Student 2: oh. Okay. That clears it right up.
"So speaking of repentance, here are your graded exams."
"If I could just read my own writing... wait, that's typewritten. How am I supposed to read this gibberish at the bottom? How do I know that's your signature and not your cat?! What is that? STEVE?! Are you serious?"
"The grandchildren could have been poster children for the doctrine of original sin. You know the reason I felt called to the ministry was so I didn't have to do nursery duty. I mean 'I'd love to help but I have to preach'..."
"I'm gonna write random words on the board to keep YOU engaged and MY mind sharp"
"We have not gathered (on Sunday mornings) to do our personal devotions with 200 people! That's distracting. Corporate worship is WITH PEOPLE. Look at each other!"
~Pastor~
"(an older professor) asked me when I was young and at Seminary what my stance on women pastors was. With the exuberance of youth and the stupidity of speaking too quickly, I told him. (The professor) just looked at me and all he said was, "One day this will be a matter of great embarrassment to you." The effect of that embarrassment was instantaneous. I can still point to the spot on the seminary lawn where he said, "you, my young friend, are an idiot." (In the next 12 hours, the students view changed as he went to the library and looked up every book and Scripture verse on the subject)"
~Prof~
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Much needed poetry for this week
Which was my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin, through which I run,
And do run still, though still I do deplore?
When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
For I have more.
Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun
A year or two, but wallowed in a score?
When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
For I have more.
My last thread, I shall perish on the shore ;
But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son
Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore ;
And having done that, Thou hast done ;
I fear no more."
"A Hymn to God the Father" by John Donne.
" On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove the disgrace of his people
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken.
In that day they will say,
"Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." "
Isaiah 25:6-9
Its so easy to see the grain of sand in a brother's eye, until I realize that I'm bludgeoning him with the 2x4 log in my own eye. Please pray for me and some dear friends of mine. We're struggling. I have hope that we'll win the war, but some battles have been lost, and we're bleeding.
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