Well, I logged onto my blog to make a quick update, and was distracted by a pop-up advertisement. It was an opportunity to give my blog a 'new and improved look.' I allowed myself a 10 minute distraction, clicking on different layouts etc. and finally decided to stick with the same-o-same-o. Sometimes the old ways are best. ;-) It looked cool but slightly confusing, so when I have time (HA!) I'll give it a more in-depth look.
In other words, midterms were this last week! Remarkably, I think I did alright on my exams. Surprising to me, given the fact that I was bedridden with a serious cold and then a viral inner-ear infection for two weeks, and not really myself trying to recover for going on two and a half weeks afterward. I have tried to stay on top of homework, but will give the glory and praise to the Holy Spirit directing me on which sections to focus on studying when trying to cram on the exams. :-)
Anyway. My professors have been saying some pretty funny stuff this semester, so I thought I'd quit moaning about my physical ailments and give you a peek at some more college humor. Hope you enjoy. Warning, though, we are NOT politically correct. So if you are part of any kind of rights group or take life too seriously or whatever, this post is not for you ;-) For those of you who go to this school, if you think you know who said these quotes you are probably right.
Anyone ever tasted a medicine that tastes like the lobby of hell put into liquid form? Oh yeah, some o'yo momma's washed your mouth out with soap? Yeah. Yeah, some 'o you know the pain of repentance and how it tastes!
Student: Oh my gosh, we sound NERDY!
Prof: Hey hey hey, who said the 'N' word in my classroom?
Student 2 : C'mon, man, I embrace it!
I'm from the South, so I may say stuff that ya'll don't git. That may be one of 'em.
Here's the problem. We have a block class at 11:30. How many of you are from the South? And I don't mean Kentucky, I mean the REAL south? OKay those of you from the REAL south know that this is dinnertime. Right? 'Cause supper is at nighttime.
Prof: What do you say in the West?
Student: All ya'll.
Student 2: Well it depends on how far west. In California its just 'you.'
Professor: We don't count California as west! That's LEFT coast!
Student 2: Hey. We voted proposition 8!
Professor: Yeah and the Mormon's helped you git it. That don't count.
Professor: I'm a HUGE college football fan. Fall is NOT a good semester to have me. I'll have extra credit questions on the exams based SOLELY on football.
You don't have to read the entire book. You'll just read 98% of it. So skip the preface, skip the index, you'll be good. That was an attempted joke. Go 'head, ya'll can laugh. Good. Ya'll can pass.
If you really love someone, and they feel that you really love them, you can teach them anything!
If you fall asleep in my class I may very well make fun of you. I will find the biggest book I can find and drop it right next to your sleeping head- from ten feet in the air if I can. You will wake up, shoot up, shout up, maybe even throw up.
Time for some investigative research. Find out what time those professors, especially Dr. L, have class and which one of your friends are in it; and how many of them have cell phones they will leave on. If you breathe a word of it I will lie. I will put all the blame on you. And those of you who are sympathetic to Dr. L, I will find you out. Unless you post another video of him dancing on Facebook.
Professor: There are men who read the Scripture, and I know they love it as the inerrant word of God. But it is a good thing I know it ahead of time because I never would have guessed it by the way they read the Bible.
Professor: I have six daughters. Our most recent one is probably last, as my wife has gotten old on me.
Student, also Prof's daughter: I'm tellin' Mom on YOU, Dad; tellin' people she's old!
Prof: I will fail you in this class if you do!!
Good teaching is communicating through personality; transformation/formation of Character, not the transfer or acquisition of information.
Why is he quoting David? 'Cause back in that day, David was the MAN. It'd be like walking around here saying, 'Well John Piper said..." or "McArthur said," or 'insert your favorite puritan here said."
Student: That's like, white trash gourmet!
Student 2: That's the caviar of the south!
Prof: Well, there are more deer than people in Kentucky. Its like Baptists in Texas - more Baptists than people!
Did you think you'd get an hour and a half discussion out of ten pages? That's what happens when you let a philosopher on the loose!
That may sound harsh but I am just telling you what the facts are. If all you have is head knowledge and no heart knowledge then you and Satan could be room mates.
Francis Schaeffer speaking of C. S. Lewis on a topic they disagreed on: Oh, if we could have talked, I'm sure he would have come around.
Tell me what that has to do with anything besides nothing!
Some of you are like, "John Piper said it therefore its the case." Its like the 67th book of the Bible.
If you ever feel that you are good enough for ministry you ought to reconsider.
Remember, throughout our lives, in God's sight there are no little people with little lives. Through God's grace little people with little lives can change the course of our society.
Ya'll are thinking too general. Think specifically, right? Start's with 'G' ends in "od.' Right. Had to find the right drawer int he filing cabinet for that one.
Yes, you should study for the glory of God. I know that hurts some of you a little bit. It doesn't mean you have to make an 'A' it means doing it to the best of your ability.
Anything is improved by friend bread crumbs. You know you're in for some good eatin' when the recipe calls for 2 cups of lard or butter.
Student: Can we use our Bible's on the exam?
Professor: Here's what I always say: I feel like if I tell you that you can't use your Bible I'll go to hell. So yes, you can use your Bibles!
You are so engaged in kicking yourself in the proverbial spiritual rear-end... actually... I guess a spiritual rear-end is not so proverbial...
Now, I know you've got a lot of homework... but good lord, go outside!
Two more points on the outline and then we're done with class for the day. The time of your jail-break is coming! The end is near!
I can't wait until I'm 110 years old because you can get away with saying anything and no one says anything because you are old! My wife is kind of nervous, because she's like, 'You know... you already kind of have no filter..."
We think that dressing like a certain community in Seattle is missional. I mean... I'm going to hear about this later but that's okay. We're going to do this. We're just gonna do this and take the blue pill... or was it the red pill? Well, whichever pill it was, we're gonna take it and go with it, and see what happens. Have you seen John Piper? The man is a dweeb! He is SO nerdy. He's worn the same coat, shirt and loafers, its like, GO SHOPPING DUDE! But some of you are really struggling that I just called John Piper a dweeb because you don't care what he wears, because he's so relevant! A powerful and passionate speaker and you love him.
Dr. B and Dr. J are self-professed Greek nerds. Thanks, I'll stay with being a self-professed evangelist-to-Mormons nerd. They can have their present infinitive craziness. I'll stick with Joseph Smith.
I really must confess... I really have no idea how we got on that tangent... Oh the sticky note hanging on my pant-leg! Next time just let it hang.
For the stoics, reason is kind of done away with. So where then do we find ‘the norm’? Can’t look inside yourself, that would be existential. Can’t do that for the sake of being good, because that teleological.There’s this thing out there called the World Soul. “Yeah ya’ll were like, ‘that’s what I wanted to say I was just afraid. Ddn’t want to dumb it down.”
Professor: Have ya'll heard of the Board of Education? Its a paddle for your B-hind. Or, have you heard the 'young man!' then heard your daddy whip his belt off? I take my belt off at night it still gives me shudders. I know ya’ll don’t do that in CA but in the South-
Student: Oh no, but we do use extension cords.”
Professor: Wow, plugged in? Fray ‘em a little bit and then git a little ‘nyeeeum!
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