The bird

(above picture is not the bird in the following story)

I like birds. Always have. My grandpa used to raise canaries to sell at pet-stores, and my great-aunt had two cockteils that she used to let me carry around on my shoulder and play with the few times we were able to make it to her home in Wisconsin to visit.
So I know a little about birds, but not a lot.
Last week going back to my apartment I saw a bird in the grass along the sidewalk. It was a little odd because usually birds hop away when that close to humans. Being in a bad mood, I made sudden movements, seeing how much guts the bird really had and if it would fly away. It didn't. Instead, it ruffled its feathers and gave a very odd chirruping scream. Intrigued, I walked towards it. The thing ruffled its feathers even more and screamed faster. So I got down onto my haunches and apparently I wasn't as huge and terrifying because it quickly calmed down.
There was a large tree right above us and I saw some birds flying around in it like there was a nest, and upon closer inspection of the bird in the grass I noticed that while it was getting the smooth, glossy feathers of an adult, it still had the fluffy downy feathers of a chick.
I poked it with a seedy piece of grass and the bird nipped at it, trying to get at the seeds.
Got some water and oatmeal which the bird nibbled at and then sort of let it fall out of its mouth and I determined when it looked at me (with its head at an angle) through one eye that it liked oatmeal even less than I do.
For all intents and purposes, it seemed fine, it just wouldn't move. It did sort of hop away at one point, but not very far. So I tried scooping it up with a plastic lid I had brought back to feet the oatmeal on it and tossing it not very high into the air. The bird would flap but only enough to keep from falling, not really flying. It couldn't get a stable grip on the lid. I found a stick and amazingly the bird very cooperatively climbed onto it. I then stood up. Its legs started shaking a little and I let it catch its balance. It started squawking again as if to say, "This is a very bad idea!" I slowly started moving around in a wide circle to create a sort of wind, which had the desired effect: Bird started flapping, fell off the stick, and landed gracefully back on the grass, and let out a rebellious chirping scream. Back onto the stick it went and again we started spinning. This time the bird seemed to understand what the point was and after it started flapping it let go of the stick, tucked its legs under, and flew away into the trees.
A few minutes later I heard a bird flying around give a call very much like the chirruping scream the bird had given on the ground.
I turned around and saw a Seminary Wife staring at me. I did look a little odd: stick in hand, oatmeal box on the ground, water bottle a little far away, staring at a bunch of birds. I smiled and waved, she nodded a greeting back and went on her way.

I suppose I should have done the normal thing and left the bird alone or called animal control. But the lawnmowers have been out in full force, and I didn't want the thing to get run over. And I didn't know Animal Control's phone number, and besides where's the fun in that?

But mostly I think I identified with that bird a little too much. Trying to learn how to fly but for whatever reason have become grounded, and not really sure how to jump back up into the air and start flying again. But God had brought people who have poked and prodded and tossed me up into the air. While I certainly don't feel at all like I'm flying again, I don't feel left alone terrified in the grass anymore waiting for a lawnmower to run over me or a cat to come nab me.

The trouble is I have flown before and I love it, but recently I feel as though I've made some running jumps and become airborne for a few moments, but ultimately end up back on the ground. Plenty of people have reassured me that I will fly again, which I know and have known and have never doubted for a moment through this last year. It hasn't been the future at all that I'm worried about. Quite the contrary; I'm excited about it. Its the present that I'm frustrated with.

~Princess Ouch~