Alright this is kind of stupid. But I wasn't able to go to Church today, and right now I am trying not to plummet into the depths of deep dark discouragement. Basically I haven't been to an official Sunday morning Church service for about a month now. Now I'm in Bible college, which means I'm being spoon-fed doctrine every which-way I turn around, and which also means that I am listening to, commenting on, learning from, writing, reading about, and generally surrounded by every kind of sermon mankind has invented since the 1800's. Okay maybe not THAT thorough but some days it feels like it. So as far as my personal convictions go, I'm not too bummed about missing another doctrine-fest from an American pulpit. However, I'm in this Church planting Praxis, and I need to choose one of three churches to work with this semester. And then I need to get to know that church really well and determine with my 'team members' or class mates and the pastor of that established church where we are going to try and plant a church somewhere else in Louisville.
The church I was going to go to this morning is in the middle of a large Serbian community with a very poor African American community near by. I'm pretty sure it's the church I want to work with I just haven't ever BEEN to it yet. So I was going to go this morning with one of the Senior students in my class. After waiting for her for about a half hour I went to her room and discovered that she's fighting the Flu or something and can't go, and everyone else who was going was already at Church.
There is this one Church (Calvary Chapel) that I've wanted to visit since before I moved here, however since I have no car and haven't figured out the public transportation yet I can't make it there either!!
SO I'm trapped in the dorms for another day.
Part of the problem is that I've just been generally experiencing an all around 'I hate college" phase for about a week now. I screwed up my back again, so have been walking around in pain, and the only way to get this problem fixed is to regularly go see a Chiropractor, which I can't afford. My "I hate college' phase did start around the same time my back started hurting so that might be part of it.
My main problem is my assignment due on Tuesday. I have a group project on Global Christianity. I have two others in my group. The guy seems fine with doing whatever the other girl and I tell him to do as far as this project is concerned. The girl is interesting to work with. However she is covering the introduction, and in her outline says that basically ONE good thing has come out of America and that was the Missionaries of the 1800's. Now, I know America has problems, I'll be the first one to give you an exhaustive list on my culture's problems. However, I am 100% American. Patriotism and me are friends. If I come across as a prideful whack, then I have certain people who have permission to slap me. But just don't tell me that there's nothing good about America, because I'm American, and that's part of who I am. A lot of good has come from America. "Well yeah but not Spiritually." you say. Really? I have news for you.
Korea was the only country whose EFFECTIVE missionaries were almost EXCLUSIVELY American. Yes the Roman Catholics got there first, but for the most part were ignored or killed or just weren't effective at spreading the gospel. In other parts of the world they were awesome, just not Korea. So the effective ones were Americans. "So what" you say. Well, look at South Korea today. The largest church of every established denomination is found in what city? Seoul, Korea. Not that numbers mean everything, they don't. But they do say SOMETHING. Korea currently sends out more missionaries per capita than the United States does right now. My interpretation: America had something SPIRITUALLY good to offer. Observe the fruits of her labor.
Anyway. So I'm trying to figure out if I should just leave my class-mate's assessment of America alone, as I am doing the conclusion, and just try to redeem the presentation with my own (patriotic) points, or if i should say something.
The other problem is that for this report I've had to do a lot of research and interviewing of people on the mission field or doing ministry. Which should be encouraging, I know. However, it makes me want to go NOW. Not in four years after I graduate, not next summer during break. NOW. But I can't go now, which means I have yet another opportunity to practice patience. I really think they need to stop inventing stupid things like steroids and effective nail-polish remover and start making a solution that when mixed with Hot Chocolate makes you start developing a healthier heart and a healthier Patience. :-)
Well I've probably rambled on enough for one entry. I'll probably re-read it sometime next week and think, "oh my gosh. What was I thinking broadcasting these dark thoughts to the entire world?!" Not sure. :-)
Cheers,
Princess Ouch
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