not quite what I thought...

I stopped by an old friend's house today. We haven't seen each other since she was pregnant and now her baby is 7 months old - so obviously its been a while :-) She and her husband are now on staff at my old church heading up their internationals department, reaching out to immigrants and refugees in our city. Not what they thought they'd end up doing. They were completely sure they'd be in the Middle East by now as missionaries. So I brought her up to speed with what's going on with Kyle (he's been in Central America on a mission trip this week) and me with my new job. The baby interrupted us rather frequently with polite coo's or random squawks or just plain ear-piercing screams. Allergies have been a jerk the last two weeks, and the little guy is teething and chunking up to hit a growth spurt.
At one point my friend looked at me over the rim of her mug filled with Kurdish Chai and said, 'This is NOT what I thought it would be like. Did you think ministry would be this...'
'Normal but not?' I finished for her.
''Yeah. But its so invasive, too! Like, my husband isn't my own, and I am constantly behind the scenes. Like... it never ends, but its so sporadic. I'm afraid I'm getting burned out, which scares me, because we've just started this year!"
We were interrupted by a call from someone from church who needed a more in-depth conversation, so I left with promises of getting back in touch with her soon.

But it has stuck with me. Ministry isn't what i thought it would be. Being a grown up isn't what I thought it would be like. The man God made explicitly clear that I am to be with is nothing like what I thought I would get. But on the other hand, its all RIGHT. It all FITS. Which is why we keep plugging away at it even when it makes no sense or burnout swoops in like an ugly beast.

But my friend and I did come to an important conclusion: its very very VERY important to not try to do it alone. Because its easy to get isolated, and caught up in your own ministry or drama.

Consequently, we've decided a consistent ministry comparison/chai consumption/henna application date is in order on a much more frequent basis.

Let this be a read Bible

August 24, 2001. My best friend Anna Stone gave me a brand new, Extreme Teen Study Bible. IN the first page where you write all this stuff, she wrote, 'because I love you.' After I displayed great joy and mirth at the gift, she explained that she also was giving it to me, in addition to her love, due to the fact that my other Bible was falling apart. I had been given that Bible - a Children's Study Bible - by my Sunday School when I memorized so many verses and had attended so many weeks in a row (I think? Or maybe it was just for my birthday) It was nearing ten years old. I personally didn't feel like it was falling apart; its cover needed washing. The main issue was that it was a Children's Study Bible and I was a teenager and wasn't really sure how to study the Bible at that point. So the Extreme Teen Study Bible really helped.
However, if Anna could see it today, she'd probably dash out the door with no more ado and buy me yet another Bible (I'll take the ESV study Bible, please! Or the Hollman Study Bible. Yeah the ones that could kill someone if you hit them right with them, they are so huge). The poor Extreme Teen study Bible has been through a lot. It has moved back and forth across the United States and overseas with me. It suffered a bad case of mildew when I was in Romania and the pages still have stains and are all crinkly throughout the Book.
My favorite part is all the notes I've written into the margins - in dozens of pens and pencils. My youthful scrawl and loopy penmanship mercifully different now. I have snide retorts, deep questions, prayers, reminders to myself to be obedient or humble or learn to be wise or do better at Scripture Memorization.

I brought another Bible I had purchased for school (as it is about the size of my hand and I am pretty sure
as I get older I won't be able to read the text its so small) to Sunday School a couple of weeks ago. Wouldn't you know it, THIS particular Book was left on the roof of my car one day when I was unlocking the door, and it and my journal went flying off of the roof and ended up getting run over by a truck. The tread marks are still in the back flap to prove it. I made some apology for my Bible (missions major moment: we were always told to show utmost respect for our Bibles when going into other cultures because they did for their holy books and it would impede our progress if we seemed to flippant a religion). The dear old lady just smiled at me and said, 'honey, I found a note in my grandmother's tattered old Bible. It said on the front page, 'let this be a read Bible.' And I just thought that was so neat. Looks like yours is a read Bible!'
Hope so! 'Cause I just feel like they are abused Bibles!
So life comes in weird circles, because I want to invest in some Children's Bibles for my kids in the Children's Church. Wonder what stories their Testaments will tell!

setting up my phone, progress on the office :-)

Today I paged my secretary in my office while sitting in a meeting with another 'professional' in my field and asked her to please bring some information to my office.
I FEEL SO GROWN UP!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
I mean, I have my own EXTENSION on the OFFICE PHONE!!!!
Yes I am being ridiculous. Have we met? Its the little things in life.
 And I made progress in clearing out more stuff. Muahahahaha! Another small victory. I have realized if you celebrate the small good things, the huge stressful things are not so huge. So I'm trying to remember to do that; to celebrate the ordinary.

 And that seems silly or childish or eccentric or ridiculous to some, and thats okay. Those people are usually more stressed out in life than I want to be. I'm working in a field God prepared for me and me for, but its a huge need and therefore got lots of challenges, baggage, politics and spiritual battles. So anyway. All that to say don't judge me while I have my little party about setting up my phone. And tomorrow I get to set up my own official voice mail! I kind of want to text some people to call me tomorrow just so I'll have some fun voice mails on there... teehee.
I've also discovered I have a gift for finding awesome crafts for kids to do; which gives me an outlet for my creative genius. :-) SOOOO happy. New excuses to dash over to Hobby Lobby! Yaay!