Battle of the desk

"When I was working in collegiate ministry, I very bright student, Sue, came to me. She told me that she was an agnostic but that her best friend, Larry, had become a Christian. He talked to her a lot about his faith and did not neglect her after his conversion. Instead, he brought her to his campus Christian getherings and introduced her to his new Christian friends. He made her feel comfortable and a part of his very different Christian world. He answered as best he could her many intellectual questions about his faith. And most importantly, he loved her.
"I've seen what faith in Christ has done for Larry," she told me. "I see the love these Christians have for each other and for me. I've seen what Jesus is like in the Gospels and a lot of my questions have been answered. But I still don't believe. I'd like to find God, but I'm plagued with doubts. Please don't ask me to pray to receive Christ; it'd be dishonest. What should I do?"
I suggested what I mentioned above, read the Scriptures and look for an opportunity to put it into practice. She gulped and said, 'THat's radical. But I'll do it."
So she began having what she called her "pagan devotions." And the Christians around her prayed that God woud speak to her in the Scriptures and give her ocncrete situations in which she could obey. Several months later she said she wanted to talk to me. Here is Sue's story:
One day I read in the Bible, 'If someone steals your coat, don't let him have only that, but offer your cloak as well.' For whatever reason, that verse hit me between the eyes. So I said to the four walls, "Listen, walls - or God, if you're there - I'm going to do what this verse says, if the opportunity arises today. I want to remind you that I'm trying to do things your way in order to find out if you exist and if Jesus really is who he says. Amen."
The day went by and I forgot the verse. Then I headed to the library to continue working on my senior thesis. Just as I sat down at my designated thesis desk, this guy comes up and starts yelling at me. He told me the school hadn't given him his thesis desk, so he was going to take mine (Everyone knows how important your thesis desk is for your work. Thes chool only gives you one.) I started elling back, and pretty soon we caused quite a ruckus. But it was when he glared at me and said, "look. I'm stealing it from you whether you like it or not,' that it suddenly hit me.
I just looked and him and moaned, "ohhhhh no. NO. I can't believe it.' and to myself I thought, "Look, God, if you're there, I do want to know if Jesus is God. But isn't there some other way of finding out besides obeying the verse? I mean, couldn't I tithe or get baptized or give up something else? But don't take my thesis desk! I mean, with my luck, I'll give up the desk and then discover that you don't exist.'
But I couldn't escape the fact that I had read that verse the very same day someone tried to rob me. Before, I had always been amused to see how Jesus aimed for whatever was controlling the person in his conversation with people in the Bible. But now it didn't feel so funny. I took a deep breath, tried not to swear and said, "ok, let me think about it."
He looked bewildered. But just at that moment the librarian came up. She said she'd heard the conversation and was angered by his behavior. But he immediately began swearing at her and intimidated her so much that she told us we had to see his thesis adviser. So we trotted over to his adviser's office. It was clear to me by now that this guy carried around a lot of rage and was probably a troubled person. The more the guy ranted and raved, the more agitated the advisor became. Finally the adviser said, "Well, what does Sue think we should do?"
All this time I kept thinking about what I'd seen in these past several months. I'd seen Larry's life changed. I'd seen something beautiful in this Christian fellowship, something so real I could almost touch it. Even though I was not a Christian, I had been loved by these people. And I'd seen Jesus in the Bible. I felt so drawn to him. I realized that, even without a thesis desk, somehow I still had more than this poor, pathetic guy. I told the adviser that he could have the desk, and the meeting was over.
When we walked out the door, this guy grabbed my arm and asked me why in the world I let him have it. I told him he would I had flipped out, but I was trying to discover if Jesus was really who he claimed to be. In order to know if Jesus was really the way to God, I was attempting to obey the things he told us to do. 'So I've been reading the Gospels. And today I read that if somebody tried to rip me off, I was supposed to let them - and even throw in something extra to boot." All I could see were the whites of his eyes. "So I'm going to give you the desk, but don't press your luck about something extra."
Then he asked, "Why in the world would Jesus say such a crazy thing?"
Then I said, "Hey, if there's one thing I've learned from reading about Jesus and meeting these Christians, it's that Jesus wants to give us a whole lot more than a thesis desk if we'd let him. I think the basic idea is that it's knowing Jesus that makes us rich, not owning possessions. So that thesis desk is yours."
Becky, as I said those words, I just simply knew it was all true. I knew it from the inside out. I kinda felt like God was saying, "Well done. That's the way I want my children to behave." "

Rebecca Manley Pippert, Out of the Salt Shaker & into the World; Evangelism as a way of life. Pages 89-91

Friday morning thoughts over tea

I am sitting in my living room, leisurely sipping tea and updating my blog. Ahh... what blissful luxury is mine today. :-) I have class starting at 8:30 or 8 am Monday through Friday, and work fifteen hours in those four days as well. The last few weekends have been a little hectic as once I finished my J-term homework I had to start right in on finishing two huge books (one was a doctorate level book... yeah I didn't get too far in that one) for my Apologetics 2 class and then once we got the class discussion out of the way for THAT I was working on a presentation on comparing C.S. Lewis to Francis Shaeffer for the same class. I loved it, I just wasn't focused too much on the concrete realm of reality ;-) In between all of that, my car finally gave up the ghost, but it took a little more for the final diagnosis of 'he's DEAD, Jim' to get proclaimed as we explored various options of life support and heroic measures of eeking out the last drops of life that we could from the poor old Blue Whale (it was a blue 1990 chevy lumina van, that was somehow christened 'the blue whale' and more often than not was 'the beached blue whale') I don't know why, but female chromosones are not designed to handle automobile trouble. It stresses us. I don't know why. It just does. Especially when it strands us in various places of the city. Guys think of it as a cool challenge; girls think of it as distress. So anyway. My Romanian brother and boyfriend got to exercise their 'save distressed female' powers during all of that. *sigh*
Now I am trying to gear myself up to drag myself away from musing on cyberspace and sending it out into the void. I have to figure out getting to the DMV to declare the Blue Whale dead, and I have to read some homework for my Methods of Biblical Counseling class. The lecture part of the class has been interesting if nothing else. I'm still not sure that I'm entirely sold on the paradigm of Biblical Counseling as presented at Boyce, but if nothing else its fun learning a different worldview and approach towards helping others through crisis and stresses.
I woke up thinking about Romania and replaying some memories of my time there through my brain. Along with everything else, I've been doing a lot of praying and soul searching about what God wants me to do after I graduate, what I want me to do after I graduate, what is being the best steward of what God has given me would be, etc. When I first came to college, my goal was to get back to Romania as soon as possible. While I don't doubt that God called me to go there when He did and do what I did, I have been really struggling with the thoughts of, well was that for always or just for a season? And I've been really musing about why I wanted to go, what I did while I was there, and why I loved it. The funny thing is that I went to the orphanage to see IF I could live overseas long-term as a missionary. While I was there I fell in love with various aspects of my situation there, but I lost sight of seeking the IF and decided it WAS. It was for that time, but I don't think I asked Him enough if it was for long-term times. So what is the long-term goal? Bear with me as I sort through my random-global thought process. If you don't want an interesting ride, just scroll down to the end ;-)

I discovered this last week that a girl I'm friends with is fluent in American Sign Language, and she invited me to go to her Deaf church with her sometime. I ended up skyping my friend who is deaf for a while and it was fun rediscovering that part of myself. My problem isn't 'oh my gosh, I've got to scrape together some options as I simply don't know what to do!' My problem is, "Holy schmoly, there are waaaay too many flippin' options of what I COULD do! Which one do I pick?!" I know I don't a normal 7-5 or 9-7 Mon-Fri job... I've mused quite a bit about a Master's in Teaching, but the thought of working in the School System makes my home school heart cringe and shudder for various reasons. A good friend of mine just discovered she's pregnant and asked me to be her Doula. I said yes, and then started thinking of delving back into the midwifery world... I just don't know how long I could handle the hours on a regular basis, as babies don't like to come into the world when its bright outside... they usually like ridiculous hours like 2 am.


The overall theme is wanting to serve people and show them how to serve God better and bringing Glory to God. I could do that in a normal occupation, in a dramatic and wacky occupation, and simply by being who God has created me in all situations He's put me (systematically confounding and irritating people as I go, driving them to their knee's in irritation most likely, but whatever) Whether that's as a volunteer at an orphanage, a missionary to Gypsies, an interpreter for the Deaf, a teacher in various capacities, a Doula or Midwife, a wife and mother, a good friend, or something else entirely that God has yet to show me, I hope to be obedient to His calling and a faithful witness to Him.

Busy-ness

"It makes me sad that we're too busy to be friends." my classmate said with friendly flippancy as she tried to finish up reading through homework before our class started at 9am this morning. I love this friend. She is down to earth, frank, honest, laughs loudly, loves Jesus, loves friends, and is real about struggles. She's come up to me when I was fuming or trying not to cry, taken one look at my face and wrapped me up in a huge bear hug whispering words of encouragement. And she's yelled at me across the cafeteria in good-natured sarcasm indicating her personal struggles and frustrations with life.
And we have both been saying for several semesters now that we REALLY REALLY ought to hang out. However, we simply don't have time!!!
We both work, take full loads of classes, try to get a full nights sleep (sorta) and are involved in various ministry projects on a consistent basis. And go to church. We see each other in passing and know that if we could just carve out time to sit down, we would be great friends. But our schedules don't allow.

By the same token, I was thinking while reading for my personal evangelism class (shortly before tossing the book on the bed beside me and pulling up my laptop to start blogging about homework instead of actually DOING it... that's me giving myself a guilt-trip in case you were wondering) how long its been since I sat down and just wandered the Bible with a prayer journal in front of me, scribbling out epiphanies and prayers and frustrations and praises and random thoughts to share with the Almighty. Its been a while.
He's been a Faithful Companion and I talk with Him in passing, and I know if I just carved out time to sit down we'd be great friends as always. But my schedule...

I feel like I re-prioritize on a very consistent basis. :-)

I'm hoping that its an upwards line on the graph of sanctification, but other times I sort of feel like I've plummeted a bit as far as Spiritual Disciplines goes. *sigh* But then the Holy Spirit picks me back up and helps me dust myself off and on we go.

In other news: Just saw the trailer for 'Courageous.' I'm pretty excited about it. :-) Although... its been pretty funny recently with friends of mine since I started dating Kyle; whose occupation is in the Police force, and when he's bored he volunteer firefights. For example, I saw a movie with John Travolta about firemen on my friend's coffee table (we were studying together) and I picked it up to read the back cover. The room collectively cried 'NOOOOOOO!' and begged me to put it down.I tried to explain that I could turn my brain off and decide to not relate to the movie characters, but no one believed me and I was grounded from borrowing it or approaching the DVD player. All that to say I'm wondering if I'm gonna have to sneak out to watch 'Courageous' or if I'll be pushed and shoved to the Theaters by my friends. People keep saying, 'you won't want to know what our servicemen go through,' but honestly sometimes finding out what reality is has been a lot better than leaving me and my imagination alone together to concoct something ten times worse. *sigh*
Oh well.
So back to speaking about discipline, I'm off to go finish reading for Personal Evangelism. We have to memorize a Bible passage every week. I thought it'd be no big deal because I was in Awana all growing up. Yeah well apparently the brain's memorization capabilities deteriorates with age. Oh gosh... I just remembered... I'm a grown up. That's another thing that's weird: my friends are getting married and having babies. When did we get old enough to do that?! Shouldn't there be some sort of test or graduation ceremony to announce that? I mean dating is one thing. Matrimony and procreation is a whole 'nother ball game, my friends. Just sayin'.

Okay I'm really done procrastinating now. Well, for now anyway :-)

~Princess Ouch~