Day 3 of Jterm

More quotes. Hopefully now you've not come to expect political correctness on this blog, so there ARE some inter-denominational jokes and barbs. HOWEVER, allow me to clarify that there wasn't animosity intended towards alternate creeds and doctrines, and we make fun of ourselves plenty as well in this group. :-)

I know some of you want to address the debate, but wait until we cover all the material and then we can argue.

Arminius is an interesting person; he probably isn’t given very fair treatment on this campus.

Do this. Go to lunch and think about it. This will either give you indigestion or just make you feel glorious.

Remember that we have this constellation of Biblical terms that point us to Salvation.

I was walking out the door and my father in law said ‘what are you going to preach on,’ and I said ‘sin’ and he said ‘are you for it or against it?’ *silence in the classroom* yeah I can tell ya’ll are tired. Then again, that is a really bad joke.

How did Casey Anthony find her way into our lecture, I’m not sure.

Say you really wanted to make chili. The root ingredient for chili is chili power. Say you got home from class and you really really wanted a pot of chili. But you got home and all you have is fish sticks, jello, cake mix, green beans, peas and chili powder. But you really want some chili so that’s your pot of chili. Okay. That bowl of nastiness is the English language: you’ve got all the crap from all these different languages that have nothing to do with each other!

We have two words in the English language for one concept because of this nature of English. We can’t ‘righteous-ize’ anyone but we can ‘justify’ someone.

We’ve all got issues. I’m sure no one in this room would key a car. I would never key a car. Well, I would key ONE car if I knew which one it was…

In this difficult situation, I’m kind of the “Ghost Busters” of intern pastors. Well, really, I just needed some new stories to tell in class.

When Luther was young, he was always fasting etc. so he was very very thin. But as he got older he got more prominent. It’s like old Elvis, young Elvis… young Buddha, old Buddha, young Brand, old Brand.

Luther had a messy desk. In fact, he had a messy everything. When he married his wife, she discovered that the bed was full of mold. Luther was big, bold and messy. Calvin was short, quiet and ordered. Luther was the barbarian, Calvin was the bureaucrat.

When my kids were young, they gave me loving adoration. Then when they got older I just became the ATM machine. ‘Hey, ya got $20?’

You aren’t like the Moabites, the amalakites, the parasites or the mosquito bites. I normally don’t tell jokes but this is a long day so I gotta keep your attention somehow.

Edward the 1^st of England was raised to be a real hard-core protestant. On his crib was a bumper-sticker that said ‘I heart Martin Luther.’ I mean, real hard core. Then Mary came and she was a nut for Catholicim. So Elizabeth who had grown up watching her nut of a father, then her nut zealous brother, and then her catholic nutty sister, finally came onto the thrown and said, ‘NO NUTS! We’re gonna go right down the middle!’

Prof: Did anyone do anything exciting this summer?

Student: Well, my girlfriend (sitting next to him) and I got engaged!

P: Yeah you look engaged. I’ve been watching you act engaged all day. You know how engaged people are. They lean over and whisper things to each other and peek at each others notes. Wow, son you are as red as a ripe tomato!

Remember, Augustine believed in Limbus Infantium. Not quite as good as Chucky Cheese, but what do you do.

If Calvinists have their tulip, then Armenians have their daisy. “He called me, He called me not.” Sorry it’s a bad joke, but in a J-term I gotta have some way to keep your attention on the discussion.

When I was a kid they’d say, ‘be good or you won’t get the mansion on the hill, you’ll get the shack down in the valley by the river.’ Well when I was a kid I liked to fish, so I thought well that’s fine with me. Who wants a mansion anyway, have to dust all that stuff!

Okay, you know how I love the King James Version. Now I’m going to quote it, and I’m going to say a word, and it’s IN THE BIBLE. But if you need to run out of the room after I’m done quoting and go… scream or something, feel free.

I know it’s a weird story. But it’s in the Bible.

My generation is different from yours. We had the ‘ick’ factor: ewww how icky! Your generation looks at it more, ‘well, it’s not biblical, so what do we do.’ But you don’t have that shock at the abnormality.

J-term

Quotes so far from the Prof, who always wears a suit, a silver belt-buckle, and snakeskin cowboy boots, quotes Church Fathers left and right from memory, and delves into the etymology of theological Latin and Greek vocabulary words on the white board. My room mate and I are taking Theology 3 this week as a J-term. Yes, I know. We're brave souls. :-D Anyway these quotes are from the first fourth of the first day. :-)

The reason why I haven’t listed the grader’s e-mail is that he just got married, and I’m not using him. He’ll be worthless for a couple of months.

I’ve served as the head of every ministerial position in a church imaginable… except the WMU. Gender issues kind of complicate that. Well, with the way things are today, that might not be an issue anymore.

I am deeply familiar with the depravity of students. Because I was one myself.

We’ll deal with a controversial subject first. We’ll get our blood-letting done early on a Monday. (Doctrine of Election)

With some of these theology students, its almost like you gotta lock ‘em into a room, feed ‘em good teaching under the door and file off their fangs… not let them out until you’ve calmed them down.

Apparently Abram’s wife was a pretty foxy lady – turning heads even at the age of 90. You know, I saw this (famous person) the other day, and she looks pretty good even at the age of 56. You all probably don’t think that… don’t get me wrong, my wife looks better!

My grandkids are in the ‘noun’ stage, - where they want me to help them identify things. “Whassat?” “That’s Poppy’s car… by the way (students), its Dr. Poppy to you!” Eventually they move from the Noun stage to the Verb stage, ‘WHY do you do this.” And eventually you just say ‘Because’ because you know that there will NEVER BE AN END until they fall asleep. And ‘why’ stage isn’t the end. After THAT comes ‘why NOT’ a year later!

Why did God choose Israel? Well some people say it’s because He knew Israel would be faithful. Really?! Have you READ the rest of the Old Testament?!

Judges 3 is a GREAT story for little boys. By the way, the book of Judges isn’t like Judge Judy in a black robe. These are charismatic warriors!

Judges 3 is one of those passages that you’ve got to read in the King James. When Ehud thrusts the sword into the wicket King and the flab covers the handle, the KJV says, ‘until the dirt came out.’ Obviously it wasn’t REAL dirt… Even in those days they had euphamisms for embarrassing activities. The euphemism for ‘going to the bathroom’ or relieving oneself was ‘he’s covering his feet.’

Busy busy summer

My apologies for being a horrible blogger and not posting in about a month. But I have some decent excuses, if you'd care to bear with me. :-)

First, my buddies Chris and Patrick came down the weekend before finals week. lol. That was fun.



Then a good friend of mine named Kyle and I with fear and trepidation decided to move our friendship 'to the next level' and now I have a boyfriend :-)


That Friday I flew to California with a friend's baby and stayed there for a few days to help out with the kiddo while the mom and dad drove out with all their worldly possessions.



I was supposed to be there to help, but they decided to play tour guides a little :-)


My good friends Stephanie and Andrew got married :-)



I drove to Tennessee with my dear friend Allison to get some stuff for mom (sorry, didn't take any pictures of that)

Kyle and his parents drove up for Memorial Day and we bummed around with my room mate and took pictures


I worked like a fiend interspersed between all this (yay paycheck yet minimum sleep/rest)


Kyle drove up and got me and I was able to get a tour of small-town Kentucky and meet his best friend that he grew up with and said friend's girlfriend.



Then this last Friday we had the wedding rehearsal for Chad and Olya's wedding, and it was quite the international affair, let me tell you. The bride was originally from Ukraine, and her parents who spoke NO English were there :-) The maid of honor was Ukrainian, another bridesmaid was Cameroonian, another was from Georgia and then there was me - your all-around USA-ian. ;-)

(In this picture, there is an American, a Romanian, Cameroonian, and a Korean)

Then on Saturday we had the actual wedding, and we were doing wedding stuff from 10 am to about 7 or 8 pm. *whew* Needless to say I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day.


And then finally, today Kyle and his parents had a funeral to attend in Lousville, so I went with them. I ended up distracting Jonah, the grandson of the deceased, in the playroom off to the side of the viewing room, for half-to-most of the time we were there. The rambunctious four year old was tired of being in the same room, so after Kyle said hi to the kid I let him and his parents to the greeting and consoling and scurried off to a side room to play with four-year-old toys and chalkboards. :-)

Anyway. Thats why I haven't been posting. I've plenty to post ABOUT, just no time to do it. lol. So. I am going to go to bed before heading to work AGAIN tomorrow. :-) I hope you enjoyed the visual depiction of my summer so far.