Nose back to the grindstone

Well, summer for me has officially ended as a whirlwind of new classes, new job schedule, old friends with new stories and conversations have swept me into the intense, fun, craziness that is known as college in North America. Already I've had some fun experiences with friends, and some not-so-fun experiences. My class load is going to be fun but intense as I'm taking five classes again but this year two of them are 400 level classes, and I am auditing Greek. I had one friend in particular who was more vocal about the pain of the language then most of my friends who had signed up for it under duress. My dear friend Allison is a Greek whiz who always gets 110% on her tests and quizzes, so I decided on whim one morning to sit in on the 9 am Greek class. (yes, you can do that here. I love my school!!)
Well, thanks to a mother who not only had Grammar as part of the homeschool curriculem but who also encouraged me to study random languages (like Hungarian and Romanian) and who also taught me how to teach myself things I was interested in (such as getting a grip on Grammar so I could tutor three jr. highers for a year), I loved it. Dr. Joslin has an amazing sense of humor and I would almost take the class merely for the laugh factor I'd get first thing in the morning.
Allison said she'd help me out and lend me her textbook on occaision, so I'm jazzed.
I'm currently on a Star Trek kick and have decided I want to be Nyota Uhura, linguist extroardanaire and lady fair of a certain brilliant pointy-eared half-vulcan with dreamy eyes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen its true. I am marrying Spock. No, not the actor. The actual character Spock. Christian version, that is.
So yeah. Between the conversant Hungarian, Romanian, American Sign Language that I know and now studying Greek, I think that's a good start towards becoming the Universe's Linguist on a daring team led by a fearless leader who goes where no one has dared to go before!!!
Alright enough about that. I am off to get dinner with some buddies of mine and then sit down and try to figure out why my card won't let me print off stuff so I can finish printing off my Syllabi and figure out my studying schedule for the Semester....

Textbooks and college quotes

Bought some schoolbooks today on Amazon. Didn't save as much as I'd hoped to. I know $200 a semester is nothing compared to what most college students spend on textbooks, however I am a cheap homeschooler who has been exposed to a mother who usually gets knock-down prices on things as a matter of course, and I'm rather purturbed that $160 was as far down as I could go this semester on books.
However, as I find myself once again preparing for acadamia, it occured to me that I did not put last semester's quotes up yet, so shall rectify this situation post-haste.
Some are deep, some are funny. Hope you enjoy.

"If you are too open minded, your brains will fall out." Professor of Psychology.

"I expect you to be HERE! (present at class) Unless you're like, nearly dead... or in a car accident." Professor of music

"The difference between zoo's in China and zoo's in the rest of the world? In China they have plaques with descriptions of the animals. Oh, and the recipie for it." Professor of Missiology

"Microsoft Word has a mind of its own... and it will argue with you. And... sometimes you need to wrastle it to the ground." Professor of English

"Do you all hear music? If someone is listening to music on their laptop, could you at least turn it up so I can hear it too?" Professor of Psychology

"I mean, you see the Spirit of the Lord come upon Sampson when he kills the philistines with the jawbone of an ass. And.. Sorry!! I grew up with the King James version! I MEANT DONKEY!! Donkey, donkey, DONKEY!!" Professor of Ancient History.

"I need you to be engaged, not just blood flowing through your veins, breathing, NO! Drink a red bull, coffee, do jumping jacks, guys hit each other... be engaged!!" Prof of Music

"Our ministry is not to be a missionary. Our ministry is not to plant churches. Our ministry is people. We have to remember the PEOPLE are the reason we are there.... If you ever get to the point in your ministry where you are no longer a learner, get out of the ministry.... you can't understand someone until you learn from, about, and with them." Prof of Missiology

"Argumentation is having a slight edge that answers that little creature sitting on your shoulder saying, 'so what?'" Prof of English

"Superpower: A nation who is asked by other nations what their reaction will be when actions are taken." Prof of Ancient History

"It is not enough to be flexible, because there is a point in which you've bent so far that you break. You need to be fluid because fluid can go anywhere and not worry about breaking."
Friend of prof of Missiology.

"Oops... I just... dislogged someone's... technical ... situation." Prof of Psychology when he tripped over a laptop's cord.

" 'Church'es' is not a contraction! It doesn't exist! Not on THIS side of heaven, not on THAT side of heaven! And if you want to get past the Pearly Gate, don't do this! It is a SIN! I know you think all sins are forgiveable, but I have news for you. All but that one!" English professor

"Did you hear the one about the pastor who was dreaming that he was preaching... and he woke up and found out that he was?" Prof of Ancient History.

"By the time you get to Bible College, you are just pagans who have imbibed Christian principles. We need to get rid of your paganism and turn you into real authentic disciples!" Prof of Psych

Prof: Who drinks Orange juice with pastries?!
Student: Well, what do you wash down the sweet with?
Prof: Coffee!! Black coffee to wash down the sweet!!

"... and we were like, 'oh maaaan... it'd be SO nice to have a boyfriend; then he could do all this dirty work!' but then I said, 'No! We are independant women! We aren't happy about that, BUT we must live into that and maintain our reputation!!" Student.

Poured out, waiting to be filled.

(Corina and Allen)

My friend Corina lost one of her babies this week. Little "Allen" was diagnosed with Cancer in his eyes, and was abandoned by his foster mother. Corina took his case and ended up falling in love with the little boy, and became his new foster mommy. "Allen" had two surgeries - one to remove his cancerous eyes and the second to remove the cancer that had moved to his brain - and appeared to be doing well for a while. Tragically, two weeks ago he fell ill again. He slipped into a coma and a few days ago went to be with Jesus.

Corina and I chatted a few times while "Allen" was in a coma. My heart broke for Corina as she told me of her grief.

"I want to hear my baby's voice one last time!"

"My heart has been broken before, but this time it is crushed."

Before he went into a coma, Corina began to prepare "Allen" for eternity. He had been growing sicker and was agitated. At only two years old, he seemed to understand that Death was near.

"You don't need to be afraid. Jesus will come and take you to a beautiful place, and it will be your home."

The little boy was still unsure and asked, "Will Jesus come by car?" He had a facination with cars.

"Jesus has many cars. I'm sure He can find you one." She replied as he snuggled closer to her, still afraid and tense.

"You don't need to be afraid." She assured him again. "Jesus will take you home to Heaven. You can stay there with Jesus and wait for me, and after a little while Mommy will come too."

Finally the little boy relaxed and was at peace. Soon after he slipped into a coma.

After he lost consciousness, Corina and I chatted a few times while she was at her house during the few rests she allowed herself. She refused to leave "Allen's" side more than was absolutally neccessary, alternatively hoping for a miraculous healing or simply wanting to be there when he finally passed. My heart broke for Corina as she shared her grief and worry.

"I am very depressed. I miss my baby so much! I want him back with me!"

"All I want is just him, just one more time to hear him, to hold him. I can't stand to look at his lifeless body. Why so short? Why such pain he had to go through? Why so few sweet moments?"

"I know it (knowing Allen) was a privelege, but one that cost much. My heart. It was broken before, too. But this time it is totally crushed."

I tried to comfort her and remind her of God's unending love and sovereignty. I was torn, though, because I wanted to assure her that it would be allright in the end, the story would have a happy ending. Or at least to be assured, she had done enough for one person, surely God wouldn't ask her to do anything like this ever again.

However, what else is the Christian Missionary life but an endless series of sacrifice, heartbreak, and tragedy? Of course there is Joy, Love, Salvation in there as well. However the moments of grief come all too often. And the thing is that I know Jesus is standing right there watching, His eyes wet with tears as His heart breaks more than ours could ever even begin to.

But sometimes it is encouraging just to know that there are indeed other Christians who partake in the sacrifice and heartbreak. Who understand not the situation completely, but at least can empathise in the feeling of helplessness. Who do not condicend or talk with useless words but who will simply sit and cry with the grieving person. Or a simple, "tell me more, because I love you."

Anyway I had all this buzzing through my head for a while, so I wrote a poem about the Missionary life. It was originally for Corina, but I think every serious, down to earth Christian can empathize with this.

(Allen after one of his surgeries)

I Pour myself out, Oh Lord

I pour myself out.

Empty I come before You

Asking to be filled.

This fragile pitcher contains

nothing of worth

That can aid the calling

You have laid on it.

I pour myself out, though

You know how it pains.

Seeking a path only few

even know to look for.

Do not forget, Oh Lord

the cost of obediance.

Remeber, now I am empty,

waiting to be filled.

I have ruined myself for anything,

only You now can bring satisfaction.

Gently, Lord gently, refine me.

Don't let me break.

I asked for Your eyes Lord

and I begin to see.

I asked for Your heart Lord

You didn't tell me how It breaks.

Helplessly I see before me

a Heavenly task

But I have only human strength

don't let me lean on it!

I will not be accused of being so

Heavenly minded, no earthly good.

But nor will I put my hope

in this shallow world.

I follow You as a blind woman

in a foreign land.

I know the Spiritual real is there

unseen, yet unmistakably real.

I know Your voice calls to me constantly

but I still learn Your language.

I trip and stumble with mistakes

cursing fallibility,

but You keep me from falling.

You hold my hand.

Guide me, oh Lord. Use me as You wish.

I am Yours.

I pour myself out, and You fill me.

Fill till I overflow!

Let others see me as a fountain

whose souce is You!

I pour while You fill.

Let others do as well!

Copyright 2009 by Rachel Nehring.

(Corina and Allen)